Things of tonight.

You don't know it, but on nights like these
I meet with Him to talk about you.
Entwining myself becomes a distant hazy memory when I go along with instinct.
I lost sight of my vision. It's a mistake I will not repeat.

The Lord was there and what I entended for evil, He used for good.
He revealed a heart response deep within me that puts me one step closer to purification and restoration. Which is of course all part of the process.

Our redemption

Aunt Louise.

My Great Aunt Louise passed away this past Monday. Her funeral is Saturday in Monmouth, Illinois. I leave tomorrow after our 8a-10a WWW set. 6 hour road trip with me and the Lord. :) And the added bonus of getting to see family! I can't wait to be with them. Even if it is, yet again, for a time of mourning.

I really am sad about my Aunt's death. When I was really little I remember my Aunt Louise sending me a stuffed animal cat for my birthday. For some reason that cat meant the world to me. I named her Frisky and carried her with me everywhere for months. She's even on the very top of my computer desk as I type this. She is definitely my all time favorite toy, even though I grew up with many high tech electric sound making noises, nothing compared to the hours of fun I had with my little stuffed animal cat.

I hope Aunt Louise knew how much happiness she brought into our lives. She was always fun to visit throughout the years. I'm happy she is in heaven, and really hope she knows how much she will be missed. :)

Wednesdays...

Although I feel awkward 90% of the time, and don't have much to say.
Wednesdays are officially my new favorite days. Love my team. :)

Meiosis!

In honor of my Meiosis quiz tonight in Anatomy and Physiology:

Esther Ann Sincox

Today is my little sister Esther's birthday! She would have been 10...
She was born in 1998 medically fragile and lived about a month.
I wish I could be with my family. :-/

Random Ramblings!

*Fun fact from my anatomy and physiology class tonight:
Jewish people have the highest tolerence towards alcohal. It's because they have a developed immunity towards it.
Native Americans 2.5% - lowest tolerence toward alcohal.
Germans, Russians, French etc. 90% - average tolerence toward alcohal.
Jewish people 2.5% - highest tolerence towards alcohal.

*Ezekiel 16 has broken my heart for Israel. Jon Thurlow's song helped too. :)

*Cool kiss from the Lord the other day: I came home from the prayer room and Mikey (Dave and Barb's grandson, he's 3 and adorable) was watching the cartoon version of 101 Dalmations. I sat down and watched the last little bit with him before going back to the prayer room. There is a scene where the dalmations are hiding and become trapped by their enemies. So they roll around in soot from a fireplace to disguise themselves as Lab's.


The clip starts at 4 minutes and 30 seconds in if you don't want to watch the whole thing. :)

Later I went back to the praye room and was reading Lamentations.
Lamentations 4:8 But now their faces are blacker than soot. No one recognizes them in the streets...
I know it's kind of silly but the Lord speaks to me in this way so often. Just small kisses from His word let me know He's with me in everything. Which brings me to...

*The changes on Tim's team have been soooo good. I love the people who have joined and am jazzed to get to know them better. Also just the way the Lord orchestrates our team is truely dynamic and powerful. I'm excited to learn and grow partnering with these amazing righteous people and God for the glory of His name.

*Revelation on Ezekiel 20. God speaks so much about doing things for the honor of His name. I've been thinking today about how terrible it would have been if God released His power and strength to the people in Israel at their time of rebellion.

The power of God + The rebellion of the people towards God = Mass destruction.

It's so important to me to posture my heart to have a right response when He does pour out His spirit and power. Acts 2.


That's all I've got. Hope all is well! :)
Love and joy of the Lord be to you all.
<3 Abby

Reflections on the Psalms (a heart of praise) Being a Woman of Psalm 119 - Part 1 Ps. 1-20

The woman I desire to be for the Man who's deserving.

1) Thinks upon the law of the Lord.

*Psalm 1:2 But they delight in doing everything the Lord wants; day and night they think about His law.

*Psalm 119:(umm... all of it)

*Psalm 18:22 For all His laws are constantly before me; I have never abandoned His principles.

*Psalm 19:7 The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul. The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. 8 The commandments of the Lord are right, bringing joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are clear, giving insight to life.

2) Finds my protection in the Lord.

*Psalm 2:12 ...But what joy for all who find Him!

*Psalm 16:9 No wonder my heart is filled with joy, and my mouth shouts His praises! My body rests in safety.

3) Lifts my heard high in confidence.

*Psalm 3:3 But you, O Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, and the one who lifts my head high.

*Psalm 17:8 Guard me as the apple of Your eye. Hide me in the shadow of Your wings.

4) Looks for the Lord's guidance. Trusts the Lord.

*Psalm 5:8 Lead me in the right path, O Lord, or my enemies will conquer me. Tell me clearly what to do, and show me which way to turn.

*Psalm 9:10 Those who know Your name trust in You, for You, O Lord, have never abandoned anyone who searches for You.

*Psalm 13:5 But I trust in Your unfailing love. I will rejoice because You have rescued me.

*Psalm 16:7 I will bless the Lord who guides me; even at night my heart instructs me. 8I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me.

*Psalm 16:11 You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of Your presence and the pleasures of living with You forever.

*Psalm 18:30 As for God, His way is perfect. All the Lord's promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to Him for protection.

*Psalm 18:35 You have given me the shield of Your salvation. Your right hand supports me; Your gentleness has made me great.

5) Filled with complete joy.

*Psalm 5:11 But let all who take refuge in You rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Protect them, so all who love Your name may be filled with joy.

*Psalm 20:4 May He grant your heart's desire and fulfill all your plans. 5 May we shout for joy when we hear of Your victory, flying banners to honor our God. May the Lord answer all your prayers.

6) Understands my own depravity

*Psalm 8:4 what are mortals that you should think of us, mere humans that you should care for us?

*Matthew 5:3 God blesses those who realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is given to them. (Blessed are the poor and spirit). Not a Psalm, but valid all the same. :)

*Psalm 18:1 I love You Lord; You are my strength.

*Psalm 18:27 You rescue those who are humble, but You humiliate the proud. 28 Lord, You have brought light to my life; my God, You light up my darkness. 29 In Your strength I can crush an army; with my God I can scale any wall.

*Psalm 19:14 May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to You, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

7) Lives with gratitude, bringing glory to God by living righteously.

*Psalm 9:1 I will thank You, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things You have done, 2. I will be filled with joy because of You. I will sing praises to Your name, O Most High.

*Psalm 119:7 When I learn Your righteous laws, I will thank You by living as I should! (Cornerstone idea)

*Matthew 5:7 God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

*Psalm 13:6 I will sing to the Lord because he has been so good to me.

*Psalm 17:15 But because I have done what is right, I will see You. When I awake, I will be fully satisfied, for I will see You face to face.

*Psalm 18:24 The Lord rewarded me for doing right, because of the innocence of my hands in His sight.

Random-ness

The things of today:

*I have officially finished the book of Jeremiah as of tonight. Only 13 books left to go before I switch to a new bible. Sad day... but my current bible is becoming somewhat unmanagable. It's completely falling apart. I've had to staple many pages back in and tape even more pages together to stop from ripping. It's just old and has the wear and tear of usage.

*Awesome excerp from Jeremiah! I love that the Holy Spirit allowed stuff like this to go into the bible because it sets my mind on the fact that these were real men:

Jeremiah 38:
10 So the king told Ebed-melech, “Take thirty of my men with you, and pull Jeremiah out of the cistern before he dies.” 11 So Ebed-melech took the men with him and went to a room in the palace beneath the treasury, where he found some old rags and discarded clothing. He carried these to the cistern and lowered them to Jeremiah on a rope. 12 Ebed-melech called down to Jeremiah, “Put these rags under your armpits to protect you from the ropes.” Then when Jeremiah was ready, 13 they pulled him out. So Jeremiah was returned to the courtyard of the guard—the palace prison—where he remained.

Armpits still in tact. :) Ebed-melech, and Baruch were my favorite people in the movie Jeremiah, besides Jeremiah himself.

*I really love Monopoly. The game.

*Today Sarah Root and I hung out. We started driving and somehow ended up in Olathe. So we found the Bass Pro Shop and spent a good portion of the afternoon in there. It's a pretty sweet store I must say.

*I've had a Jon Thurlow song stuck in my head for 3 days now. He had an incredible set this last Wednesday. Totally softened my heart towards Israel.

*Last thing... I've got a hard day coming up tomorrow, so pray for me if you get the chance. :)

<3

Oh October, it's what you do to me...

September was a month of endings and I feel like October is bringing new beginnings. Which just logically makes since, right? I feel like I've been stepping forward into a new season of learning how to learn. I know that is strange sounding but I've felt like the Lord has been speaking to me a lot about seeking out His wisdom in the leadership surrounding me. I am constantly around these amazing men and women who pour infinite wisdom into my heart day after day. Often times they don't even know they're doing it, they're usually just telling a story about home life, or something cool that happened in a meeting or in the prayer room. But the words they speak make me crave more of God and I'm truly thankful for the blessing of faithful leaders.

I'm so at a privilege to be under Tim Reimherr's leadership and being on his worship team. I love the team so much and am so grateful to be a part of it. Though a lot of changes are coming, I'm excited to see what God has in store for us next. Especially as we pursue growing through fellowship more and continue studying the word as a team. This is just a season for me of gleaning as much as possible.

I think this struck my heart majorly yesterday in a briefing for the 4pm Intercession set. Matt Candler had come in and was sharing with us out of Romans 1 and Philippians 2. It was powerful. I always feel the presence of the Lord when Matt shares. Anyway, point being, something hit me of how much I've neglected listening and really soaking in the words of others. I want a truly teachable spirit that absorbs all that I can from the godly leaders around me. And I could go into a 3 day rant about the humility of Jesus and His teachable spirit, but I won't because my fingers would get tired and maybe fall off and then I couldn't run screens in the prayer room which would just be all together bad. I've said too much already, I'm going to bed. <3

Interphase of Mitosis

Last night in my Anatomy and Physiology class we were studying the Inter-phase process of Mitosis. My teacher, Dr. Wooley (No joke. He's awesome!) was telling us that Inter-phase is refered to as the resting phase of Mitosis but how the chromosomes within the cells don't really rest at all but rather grow, and then become replica's.

This is what struck my heart... In a period of what is determined as 'rest' the chromosomes 1. grow and 2. replicate.

How much more is this truth applicable to God's calling for us to rest. I've definitely felt at points in my journey with the Lord that He has brought me into seasons of rest. I've started to wonder how much more I grown in these seasons. How much have I learned to replicate the kindness, love and compassion of Jesus when I've taken a big chunk of time to sit at His feet and gaze on His beauty, rather than chase after what I perceive to be His will in my life. I guarantee if there was a way to measure how much growth I've done as a lover of God, the larger growth would be found in the seasons of rest, sitting before Him rather than going hard after what I think would be for the good of the Kingdom.

Small change

It's not my ideal to have thoughts towards anything or anyone (beyond the love thy neighbor as thy self commandment) other than God. But being human and ... a girl... it comes about that I have been thrown into a roller coaster ride of inevitable thoughts and feelings. The more disregard I have towards these emotions, the more persistent they become and I have figured out that there is no escaping such things and I am doomed (or blessed, which ever one beholds) to except the fate of not avoiding the so-called source of such feelings. In essence... I've met a guy who changes everything...

This is against my once thought better judgement. I remember expressing to Derek Loux multiple times in previous life group meetings that I was rather fond of St. Paul's advice to remain just as you are in the Corinthians. Although this was well forced into my mind by intentional efforts, my heart constantly pulled me in the opposite direction. Which consisted of prospectively desiring a family of my own and a outrageous love for children. I find myself at a weakness of maintaining any sort of focus upon anything when a baby is around displaying the joy of the Lord with a smile. Thus being said my hardened heart to the even mention of being in a relationship, due to past pain in this area, is completely disrupted and I find myself some what vulnerable to feelings and emotions. This is a slam to my own (thought to be) personal strength towards this topic, and a weakness I am not yet pleased to boast in.

But I'm not anymore against the idea, so I'm sorry to my friends whom I have given difficult times about even contemplating relationships. :) I feel your pain. However this does not change my standards or pre-set bounderies. I just feel more vulnerable to the possibility of it maybe happening, yes. However I have determined it would have to be completely God orchestrated and also solely purposed to bring more closeness with God. For the fact that the only reason I would want a relationship on earth, is to get deeper revelation of the marriage between Jesus and the church. It's all about getting closer to God.

That being said, I praise God that there is indeed no charge for awesomeness, or attractiveness... :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYRpIf2F9NA