My body is getting reacquainted with 6am sets. Taking a 2 week break and then jumping back into waking up at 5 (sometimes 4) every morning is a burden especially when you are one of the proud and the few who does not drink coffee. It's an acclimating process.

I'm planning on posting an outline for praying throughout the beatitudes in November. So that is something to look forward to for those of you who actually read this thing.

Other than that I've been running screens a ton. It consumes my life.

The Christian Lifestyle of Comfort

Every week I set aside some time to listen to a podcast or recording of a preaching and lately I've been getting into Bill Johnson's sermons. This past week he talked about the need for a new baptism. It was incredible and broke my paradigm on the Christian current reality of living comfortably.

"The Christian lifestyle right now is designed to keep people happy and comfortable.
There is nothing comfortable about following Jesus. His alter call is you have to sell everything to follow me, oh and by the way you're going to have to die."

We can't live in this teetering lifestyle of unbelief and arrogance that God has to pass something through us before doing it to someone else.

"That's why, when you live that kind of lifestyle. When you position yourself on the edge of that kind of teetering place in life. You're not comfortable. You find comfort in Him. You find comfort in the presense. You find comfort in having done the will of God. Jesus says my food is to do the will of Him who sent Me. I am nurished because I know at the end of the day I know I did what He said to do. I am refreshed. I am replenished. I am nurished. I am refreshed by the presense of the Lord. It is the comforter who comforts me. I am not comfortable by my lifestyle.
I am comfortable by the presense of God who rests upon me."

Rest... You got me again Lord. I'm signed up all over again. "I've got to be filled with the spirit of God until He puts me on like a glove."

Yup, definitely sick.

Faithfulness

These last couple weeks I've been battling getting sick and skipping most 6 am sets in the Global Prayer Room. It is the worst to get into a habit of sleeping in then trying to go back to the routine of waking up early.

In school we are learning about the end times. I was not excited for this class at all but so far I'm loving it.

Then I'm running screens for 4 different worship teams right now. And I got a job working and teaching children at IHOP Childrens Equipping Center. I only work on weekends and it's not a ton of money but Mom and I figure if I can support raise enough for rent then it will be the perfect amount to live on. Life is good.

Do you ever feel like you're hiding yourself from someone?

Not because you don't like them or anything... In fact just the opposite. It's almost like you're scared to show your true colors because you like them so much. I've been doing this a ton lately mostly with worship team members. I feel I really have a geniune knowledge of who I am and what my identity is in Chirst. But when it comes to other people, especially people I see as unique or having admirable attributes, I shut down. Almost like I become someone else.

Unique people can hurt just as well as they can love. I'm scared too death for no reason. This is God's, not even mine. Just have to get over the fear factor...

How awful it is to not live a fasted lifestyle.

I forgot how much I like the 6-8a prayer meetings.

Hitting the wall...

“Your heart is already somewhere else, and you are hungry to discover where it is.”

David Sliker, “End-Times Simplified”

This quote totally hits home today.

Since I started running screens in the Prayer Room I've noticed my time free time to simply soak has decreased significantly. This is not because I am now excessively busy. It's because I have hit a major brick wall spiritually.

I look around the room for fleeting pleasures constantly. My mind is completely else where. I haven't kept faithful to my daily bible reading. My visions have turned into day dreams of things I wish would happen or earthly desires. I have hit a major wall that most people would call the wilderness. This is not the wilderness. I just got out of the wilderness. You don't get out of a wilderness to re-enter into a season of one. I don't feel like I belong. I'm always unsatisfied. But I am happy. I really really am happy. I love being here. Spiritually I am just distraught.

Solution? Well, fasting, praying, reading the bible. Righteous living... Total submission to Christ... That seems to be the answer to everything. I'm going to sit here in these gray chairs until I feel it. I will not submit to being okay with not feeling Him. I am not okay with You not touching me. I am broken, You should probably come now. Thank you worship teams for your anointing. You're pulling me through and closer to You.

I feel terrible. I love briefings and debriefings but I knew if I spent more time in there with you my heart would be focused on that the whole rest of the day and I have to fix me and Jesus before I can begin thinking about us.

Fun via. Demetri Martin

"once upon a time

is the best way to start a fairy tale

because those kinds of stories happen upon a time

they don't happen "for a" time or "in a" time or "at a" time.

if you are somewhere and you seem to be upon a time, then pay attention

because you are probably in a mythical situation."

I'll be original tomorrow.
Also, pray that I find my green metal bible. It is missing in action.