Abby's Blog

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Random Post!

*June 8th Oceans 13 comes out! Al Pacino is in it! :)

*Last nights Oceans 11 party was a huge success. Except for Alex ball and chaining Spring and almost streaking in front of the neighbors. We played Apples to Apples, and Scattergories. Some people played piano tunes and Jeff attempted to teach me more piano theory!

*Tonight is Elizabeths recital/Open house. Then Alex's band is playing at The Replay!

*My application for FMA is finished being processed (again) and I have an audition (again) for June 7th. Mom and me are traveling down June 4th-8th to look for housing and hospitals.

*I've been on a 6 day speech fast in preperation for the 40-day fast Lou Engle is calling the nation to. It's been the hardest thing I've ever done. It ends monday and I'm so excited. I someday hope to do a vehical fast. Fasting conveinince is a lot harder for me to do than fasting food.

*Next week for my Oceans 12 party there should probably be poker? Am I right?

*I am so proud of my best friend Alex Allegretto right now. I know that sounds really lame. But truely I'm beginning to wonder how I ever became friends with such an amazing guy. I am truely blessed. He won 2 awards at the Spring band concert Thursday night. He's also top 10 in school. They all had 4.0's. He has been 1st chair trumpet for as long as I can remember and an amazing soccer player. Now that him and a bunch of other friends of mine are graduating I'm beginning to see the wonder of the people God puts in your life to impact you.

*I like music. A lot.

*I am really really happy. Really Really happy. Great things are coming up this summer and I get to spend time with some real loveable people. Goodbyes will be hard and I'll probably cry a ton when it comes to them. But I'm planning on making this the best summer yet.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The boy...

Your sticking in my mind and I can't explain it.

Jesus is my number one. He is my sole purpose for living. The status of my ministry or my purpose (aka. relationship with Jesus) for which I live has little to do with my earthly relationships, infatuations and life situations.

However you have intrigued me.

Karen told me once "people are drawn to you". That was the day you first smiled at me in the hall way. I don't know why. I had never met you. I wrote it off as being no big deal. I had seen many faces throughout those 3 weeks.

But then we always had to go to the services early and you'd be setting up and I'd watch you and your eyes follow me around. From over by the corner where we all sat during the service. Or in the back on the bleachers. During the sermon you got up and walked to the back and I remember occasionally looking back wondering what you were doing. Immediately I was disinterested in your lack of expressions. I judged you for being dull and uncharacteristic.

However the next day I would look at you and become overwhelmed with your humility and humbleness. I shouldn't have judged. Especially since my judgements were wrong. You stood out as being more like Jesus than anyone I had ever seen before. And I have yet to truely meet you.

Your popularity made it easy to figure out who you were. This only made you appeal to me more. This is both good and bad, for I began idolizing the fame you were embarking upon. While so obviously you could care less. Your sole goal was for Jesus' attention.

3 weeks later God broke me apart. My pride, earthly longings were rapidly diminishing. The dreams, goals and plans I thought I had made with God as the main focus were revealed as being completely geared towards my own self admiration. I was destroyed. I knew I would be sent away and was crushed.

I sat outside on the pavement crying and holding my cell phone as though it would ring and all my problems would be solved. I had been crying a good 15 minutes. Then you walked by, not saying a word, just smiled.

This past year I've been forced into a season of waiting and patience straight out of a season of intence revelation and growth. Dryness had not been an issue. I had the creator of the universe motivating me to righteousness.

Every word you have spoken has clarified God a little bit more in my life. Your words bring deep revelation. I am ultimately grateful.

God is so good to me. He has blessed me and given me opportunity. I want Jesus more than anything! I'm sorry that I hurt you.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

I miss you!

So there's this boy...

Monday, May 21, 2007

New Picture!

This picture is actually from winter fest which was quite a few months ago. However it's one of my all time favorite pictures with 2 of my all time favorite boys.


Jake (left) Zach (middle) Me (Right)

It's such a curse always being right. :)

Some Randomness!

*I really really really like Al Pacino. I love the idea of method acting. Granted it's not exactly a biblical aspect or anything relating to my faith. However I like the concept and Al is definitely my favorite actor. I am excited for Ocean's 13. Also I'm not a big fan of the language he uses in his movies.

*My parents got a new couch this weekend. My cat was scratching it and I hit he clawed the life out of my hand.

*Prom for the local high school was this weekend. Most of my friends are Seniors or Juniors attending the high school. Suffice to say I felt a little left out of the prom action fun this weekend. However 3 amazing girls spend the weekend with me. They are my friends, not just my Sunday School class. Sometimes I gotta watch that. :-p Anyway Sunnie, Spring and Kristina spent the night both Friday and Saturday evening. It was a lot of fun. I declare good times in the pipeline.

*I have been super needy and longing to hang out with my good friends lately. Mostly my best friend Alex. It sucks for him because he's graduating in like a week and has a billion other things going on. I just feel in the way. But I'm so desperately seeking after the time I get to spend with him and my other friends because 2 months is closer than further away.

*I am moving to Kansas City July 14th.

*I am coming down to audition/look for a place to live/soak in the prayer room July 4-8.

*My Dad and a girl from our church named Anna are convincing me to go to a conference this summer called "The Holy Spirit Conference" at a convention center called Green Lake in Wisconsin. I'm not for sure whether or not I am going.

*I am super excited for Ichthus! Switchfoot & Relient K will be there this year! Usually it's only Relient K. And then Merchant Band will be there this year too leading on the main stage. Spring called me one day and was like "Guess who's going to Ichthus this year?!?!" I had no idea. But I was pretty excited when I found out.

*Mascara in the eyes... hurts...

*I thought I was really tough with movies. Like I never cried during them. But lately I've been crying at pretty much every movie I see.
Examples:
-Deep Impact
-Raise Your Voice (this is actually a really good movie, especially if you're a music fan)

That's all I can think of.

Other than that I've been an emotional wreck lately because of this whole moving ordeal. I am soooooooooooooooo excited though. It's just the waiting phase that's annoying. :-)

I'm out. Love to the readers. The proud the few. <3 :)

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Night Line!

Tonight on Night line (abc) they had a debate between 2 Christians and 2 atheists. It was interesting to say the least. Of course most of you know I'm a Christian however I thought this debate was pretty ridiculous. In theory what the 2 men on the Christian side of things (one including Kirk Cameron from Growing Pains.) is good. However in practice, it sucks. They had some good arguments and remained calm composure throughout the debate but their arguments were mostly evolution based and when the atheists chose to question the actually relevance of God they were lost for an answer and changed the subject back to disproving evolution or answered with a sugar coated bible theology.

Well out of sheer boredom and lacking the ability to sleep I'm answering the questions the atheists asked.

1. The Christian side emphasized that proof of God is all around us because of creation. The creation is proof in itself for all things have a creator. So the atheists pose the question: Who created God? This is first and foremost the reason I was not horridly fond of this debate. The debate was in essence trying to prove that the existence of God is obvious in retrospect using Science, or just plain logic. When in fact the bible states clearly that it is vital for our perspective of God to be decided upon faith.

Here's why: If you've ever seen teen witch or any movie where someone tries to change themselves to make someone else fall in love with them it always turns out bad. Granted real life is not like movies. But use this as some insight. God created us because He wanted people to choose to love Him. He could have made us all puppets or made us all love Him simply by force. It is possible. However it would not be true love. It would not be chosen love. He wants us to choose Him. Having faith is an important aspect of this.

God is divine. He is super natural. Our simple puny little minds can not contemplate the vastness of Him. He is complex. Uncreated. He is the I Am. He was and He always is and always will be. No one created Him. He was always. He is forever. We can't grasp this. We can't even try. It's uncomprehending to our minds. So the answer to the question is "no one created God" and I just added in the whole "I don't like this debate because they're trying to prove God's existence by Human Scientific terms which is good in theory but consistently debated/speculated and always will be so there for a waste of resources and time" thing for funsies.

2. We see evidence of imperfections in design. If we were created by intelligent design why would our retinas be backwards in the human eye causing pictures to go to our mind upside down, men have nipples, our ecosystem depends on killing life to survive. Are these not instances that disprove intelligent design?

*I do not see the eye thing as really an imperfection. Maybe that's just me. But I more of see it as an anomaly of perfection. For in fact our eyes do see images upside down but our brain is so intricate and complex that it turns each images and picture around. This is not imperfect to me. This is just sweet. I mean we don't see upside down right? So to me, things are working great.

*All embryos whether male or female develop in the same way for the first 10 – 12 weeks in the womb. It is only after this period that the sex hormones start to circulate and the fetus develops into a boy or a girl. But by that time the tissue that forms the nipples is already there so boys get them too, although they will never be used to deliver milk. Personally on this I am opinionated biblically by the scripture that discusses that we are made in the image of God. Both men and women. Also I think Men would look really weird if they didn't have nipples. ;)

*It is true. Our ecosystem works in the way that killing is essential to survive for certain organisims. However survival of the fittest has never been something essential for humans. The possibility for humans to survive, thrive, live in peace with one another has always been and always will be possible. Our ecosystem is intricate in the way of different food chains, dependencies from animal to animal. Micro bacteria. Organisms thrive off other organisms. But humans are not required to eat each other to survive. Or kill each other to survive. There is plants and animals given to us. This is not an imperfection. Animals are different. I could write on and on about the differences between human/animal but I won't bore you with what is blatantly obvious.

3. Oops. I missed one. Here it is. :-p All sin should be forgiven of men except blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. Well... What is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit? The atheists and creators of blasphemychallenge.com are under the impression it is simply saying "I deny the Father, Son, Holy Spirit. God does not exist, yadda yadda yadda". In essence they're pretty much right. Blasphemy is rejecting God. Rejecting Salvation. You don't have to say it. It's about living it. Peta files, Murders, Hitler etc. The list goes on and on. They lived a life style of evil. They lived with a evil attitude. However the reality is that if they come to a realization of the evil and repent and accept the good, they are forgiven. Because quite frankly it doesn't matter your past. It doesn't matter what you've done.

4. Non-Christians can do good things. Religion does not make someone good. The fact is no one is good. It's all comparison, we compare ourselves to the murders and say "well, I'm not out murdering people so I'm a good person". But the fact of the matter is, we all lie, a ton of us have stolen, most people are pretty one track minded on themselves, we all want things that we can't have, obsess over money or relationship. All fall short. None of us are good people. We are all pretty scummy. Think about a time when someone has hurt you. Maybe they said a lie to you. Or maybe just hurt your feelings. Think about how awful you felt. That is how God feels every single time we sin. Every time we lie, every time we steal, cheat, say something we shouldn't, put other things like relationships, money, friends above him. This is not some game of good vs. evil. It's real. We all suck at life. No one is good. I don't care who you are. You've done something stupid and regretful. Think of a time someone has made you really angry. Like so angry you wanted to hurt them just as bad as they've hurt you. The fact is we hurt God so much that if he were to inflict that amount of hurt on us we would die instantly. Just for one little thing whether it be a lie or a bad word. We all deserve death. Not just death, but painful, toilsome death. None of us do not deserve forgiveness. We choose sin it does not choose us. Hell was never made for us. We were never made to sin. We were made to worship and even more so rule with the uncreated God in a paradise of beauty, love and excellence. We were created for love, fascination, impact and there is no way we can have satisfaction in these things because we go and screw everything up. So we try to get satisfaction from relationships, sex, friends, drugs, alcohol, tv, movies, sports, competition, grades, school, family. But those are all temporary things. We are eternal and we have a choice of accepting that we're evil scum of the earth and asking, better yet begging for forgiveness. Or not caring, never truly realizing that eternally you will be punished and tormented without any sense of true existence.

5. Science is constantly changing. God never changes. He doesn't have to. There's never been Scientific evidence disproving God. Don't give me evolution. Darwin himself denied his own theories. He said "this is something to consider"

6. God does not stop Science because of Faith (see above argument). And Science more and more offers proof of God's existence rather than existence of evolution. Also Science is not negated because of God's perfect design. We do not live in a world where just saying poof gets us an ice cream Sunday. However this is no logical argument that God is non-existent. It just means we don't live in some hokey fairy tale dream world.

7. God does not need to abide by the laws of Science. He made Science. He made everything. He can do whatever he wants.

http://abcnews.go.com

Also if you're an atheist you no longer need to hide it. In fact if you record yourself saying "I deny the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, some other atheist will send you a free dvd.

http://blasphemychallenge.com

Then Kelly had a couple other points that I didn't hit on but I am tired and should go to bed.