Destination.

I've wondered a lot lately about destination. Mostly because the experience I've had (which is little) submitting myself over to Christ fully has resulted in a prideful interpretation of purpose.

Why are we here? What are we here for? Worship?

I have convinced myself of big things in God and though I do not completely disassemble these hopes and ambitions I recognize them as being purely earthly driven.

Where does the line for big things of God's purpose begin and the personal pride end?

The paradigm of God giving us our dreams comes in to consideration as well.

If I am called to big things in God, how do I discover this? Rather than believe in the Oprah christianity of believing in myself to accomplish success.

That's another thing... success. Your definition of success is ultimately dependent on who you hold as the highest influence in your life. We're only successful if the person we think highest of thinks we are successful. This is created by God. His thoughts of us are the only ones that matter.

However, holding God as the highest influence/opinion in your life is probably one of the hardest things to ever comprehend/accomplish. It's a life long learning process.

I believe pride falls into place with holiness/righteousness. If you're living righteously (according to the Sermon on the Mount), caring about yourself becomes less and less.

So righteousness is therefore the hardest thing because it is strongly reliant upon our abandonment to self and dependence on God. We cannot be righteous on our own.

I've heard a ton of things about avoiding sin by strengthing muscles in righteousness.

I'm completely broken. I'm trying so hard and fall into sin so easily. Being in Michigan has suffered my spirit. I have viewed this time as one for indulgence. With food, luxeries, sin. All these things I despise.

I'm going to throw up...