Abby's Blog

Wordpress

2008-12-08T20:31:00.000-08:00

I have after much thought and careful consideration converted to using wordpress.

You can find me here:
http://abbysincox.wordpress.com/

Just so you know...

2008-12-02T14:48:00.000-08:00

On the off chance that you actually read this thing...
I wanted to stay there for forever...
But I had a meeting at 1:30p

Reflection and Thanksgiving

2008-11-26T20:11:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is definitely my favorite holiday because I use it every year as a day of reflecting on the past year and mapping out the course of the year to come. I'm so happy to be home with my family.

I am excited that it is finally the holidays and that this year is coming to a close. Although while reflecting on what happened this year has been fun I am quite ready to move into a new season with the Lord and relationships in my life.

Last year I had these goals:
1. Totally devote it to God. I don't want to mess around with anything finite for this coming year. If it's not pushing me deeper or glorifying Him I don't want anything to do with it.

This, as expected, was pretty difficult. By the Lord's grace I was really able to pursue Him this year not finding much interest in worldly pleasures, however I do struggle, as I think we all do, with being in moments of weakness and attempting to get temporal satisfaction...

2. No dating in 2008. I don't really date anyway, but the principle behind it stands. I don't want to think about boys, relationships, marriage for this year. It's so distracting and by far the hardest thing to give up.

I was correct in my understanding of my struggle in this area. However I stayed true to my commitment to not date, although it was hard at times when opportunities would appear. But I have gone through so much inner healing within my heart this past year. I feel like the Lord has taken me through seasons of waiting, learning to trust, patience (this is not the same as waiting...), not settling but rather desiring the fullness for all God has in store for me. He's so good to me and I am so completely blessed. I just can't wait for what I know comes next! :)

3. I've been working on getting through the entire bible for a year and a half. I'll for sure be done by January. My goal is to then take my new silver metal bible and have 9 highlighter colors representing the 9 beatitudes. Then go through the entire bible cross referencing to the beatitudes.
My identity is found within the beatitudes because my heart seeks to live a life of joy, it's in my name. I find Him and allow Him to find me within this short 9 step plan to happiness. This is my heart foundation.

Not going to lie... I did not start my intended 2008 goal for cross referencing the Bible to the beatitudes. I got too intrigued in other areas and put it on hold. I have however officially made it through the minor prophets, which were the only books I didn't feel too confident in. Then I also had a great study on the book of Psalms this past summer.

So I suppose the point of this post is to say that what I am most thankful for this Thanksgiving is the opportunity to be around amazing people who push me further and further into the knowledge of God. This year has been challenging spiritually. I feel like a completely new person, a more whole person. The Lord is so good to me.

My heart response really for the coming year is honestly to (by His grace of course) live righteously.

Psalm 119:7 - As I learn your righteous regulations,
I will thank you by living as I should!

Quote of the day

2008-11-20T06:55:00.000-08:00

I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born
-Ronald Reagan

Fiddler on the Roof

2008-11-19T13:37:00.000-08:00

"Oh, what a melancholy choice this is,
Wanting home, wanting him,
Closing my heart to every hope but his,
Leaving the home I love.

There where my heart has settled long ago
I must go, I must go.
Who could imagine I'd be wandering so
Far from the home I love?

Yet, there with my love, I'm home."

Totally been into the movie 'Fiddler on the Roof' lately. I love it.

Oh boy...

2008-11-19T10:54:00.001-08:00

Learning patience takes to long.

So it begins... :(

2008-11-14T16:26:00.000-08:00

This all happened in my home town so it's a little terrifying. Michigan is in a horrible state economically right now. With GM on the verge of bankruptcy and having both proposals for stem cell research and medical use marijuana pass make it a pretty good target for judgement.

"On Sunday morning, amidst worshiping congregants and following unifying prayers that our President-elect be granted wisdom as he prepares to lead our nation through difficult global, social and economic challenges, the Michigan left declared open war on peaceful church goers.

They did it with banners, chants, blasphemy, by storming the pulpit, by vandalizing the church facility, by potentially defiling the building with lewd, public, sex acts and by intentionally forcing physical confrontations with worshipers.

This didn't take place in some dystopian, post modern work of fiction and it didn't take place in San Francisco or Berkley. This was the scene at a Bible believing church in Lansing, Michigan."

By Nick, Section News
Posted on Mon Nov 10, 2008 at 01:33:05 PM EST

Read more:
http://www.rightmichigan.com/story/2008/11/10/13335/904
http://wluctv6.com/news/news_story.aspx?id=220613
http://www.freep.com/article/20081111/NEWS06/81111082

Footprints In Your Heart

2008-11-13T21:37:00.000-08:00

Many people will walk in and out of your life,
But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
To handle yourself, use your head;
To handle others, use your heart.

Anger is only one letter short of danger.

If someone betrays you once, it is his fault;
If he betrays you twice, it is your fault.

Great minds discuss ideas,
Average minds discuss events,
Small minds discuss people.

He who loses money, loses much;
He who loses a friend, loses much more;
He who loses faith, loses all.

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature,
But beautiful old people are works of art.

Learn from the mistakes of others.
You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

Friends, you and me.
You brought another friend,
And then there were three.

We started our group,
Our circle of friends,
And like that circle -
There is no beginning or end.

Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift.

That's why it's called the present.*

Eleanor Roosevelt

November 13th

2008-11-13T20:55:00.000-08:00

This day is always a hard one for my family. 10 years ago today my little sister Esther passed away from complications of development while in the womb. She lived almost a month from October 17 - November 13, 1998 and today always makes me think of a few things.

1) How having a little sister around today would impact my life. Would I have moved to Kansas City had she lived?

2) How could anyone consider murdering an innocent baby in the womb? I feel my family was robbed of an opportunity to watch my sister grow up. To willingly not just accept, but to choose death is unthinkable to even contemplate. I am horrifyingly disgusted with the fact that people would choose to eliminate the opportunity to see a life mature and grow out of convenience when so many families are broken apart out of the natural causes of death. I am literally sick to my stomach with pain in my heart towards this topic.

3) Would I be a different person if my I got those 6 years of time back with my Mom? During Esther's Ce section the doctors damaged a nerve in her back and she was in chronic pain for the next 6 years, being heavily medicated to contain any sort of composure and often hospitalized.

4) Am I the person I am today because of the frequent life altering circumstances both my family and I endured throughout my life thus far.

It's all just something I like to take time to evaluate each year when this season of remembering comes around. Basically it all comes down to I trust the Lord and His leadership in my life and am so joyful that I am exactly where He has me no matter the circumstances. The joy of the Lord is truly my strength.

Then just quick notes from today:
*Had an interview to become staff officially at IHOP. It went really well. I think I'm in. :)

*Had an interview to become a small group leader for young women in the trials of waiting for the Bridegroom... or possibly the earthly bridegroom. We're calling it "Ladies in Waiting" it's going to be so stinkin' sweet. I'm really jazzed for it.

*Love love love studying Christ and His characteristics.

*Hung out with Abby Whichman (known as 'blog Abby' to my worship team). We had so much fun and laughed so hard. I love this girl so much!!!

*Hannah Root and I went and watched/cheered on the IHOP Basketball league tonight. Favorite team = yellow team (even though they lost by a lot). It was really fun. Hannah, I will remember your quotes always. :)

Fun screens story and Twitter!

2008-11-10T19:39:00.001-08:00

This past Sunday at the 8:30a FCF service Rick Joyner spoke to the IHOP family. We had a new record of 5 people up in the screen/light/media people booth (aka. the bat cave). Becca and Tiffany were being trained, Jessica and I are the usual screen operators for that service and Sarah is our media internship friend who really is just up there every Sunday to make sure we don't cause the lights to explode or let any Australians near the switch board. Long story behind that one. :)

Jessica had attempted during the service to follow Rick with notes but it was no easy task and half way through his sermon we both agreed it was best left alone. Well every week after the sermon we play a slide called 'ministry invitation'... It simply has information on where to go if you have questions about accepting Jesus into your heart or being filled with the Holy Spirit.

I had gotten the slide ready on the Worship computer and then pressed slide show in order to display the ministry invitation. However the 'dashboard' (as I like to call it) was not set on my computer, but rather Jessica's notes computer.

All of a sudden one of the scriptures Rick had referenced appeared on the screen. So during Mike's invitation to those wanting to receive prayer the scripture popped up for all to see. That scripture being:

Luke 12:56 Hypocrites! You can discern the face of the sky and of the earth, but how is it you do not discern this time?

There's no composing yourself after instances of screen operating mistakes happen like that. It was pretty funny for sure.

Also, Jessica has introduced me to the wonderful world of twitter. My username is: abbysec
Look me up. :)

Piano!

2008-11-07T08:09:00.000-08:00

Last Monday night I came home from Anatomy and Physiology class to find a barracade of newspaper blocking the doorway to the living room with multiple signs attatched saying "Abby, stay out!" and "Abby, no peeking! This isn't China". Everyone in our household gathered and they told me to rip through the newspaper wall. In the living room was an electric piano!

Dave (my Landlord) felt led by God to get me a piano. I love it and it's incredible. It was an amazing early birthday present! What a blessing. :) It's a Williams Electric piano with midi functions.

In a fall frenzy

2008-11-02T17:23:00.000-08:00

This past weekend was FMA's annual Fall Frenzy. The entire school car pooled to Chipotle for their free 'Buurrritos' and then headed back to the school for worship and games. I tagged along since I've still got a lot of friends still in FMA. It was a good time definitely.

Saturday I listened to Steven Venables message on 'Loving God with all our heart' and am pretty much not the same person I was before hearing it. Praise God for new seasons. I'm hoping to blog more soon! :)

Things of tonight.

2008-10-31T22:07:00.000-07:00

You don't know it, but on nights like these
I meet with Him to talk about you.
Entwining myself becomes a distant hazy memory when I go along with instinct.
I lost sight of my vision. It's a mistake I will not repeat.

The Lord was there and what I entended for evil, He used for good.
He revealed a heart response deep within me that puts me one step closer to purification and restoration. Which is of course all part of the process.

Our redemption

2008-10-28T09:05:00.001-07:00

Aunt Louise.

2008-10-23T19:27:00.000-07:00

My Great Aunt Louise passed away this past Monday. Her funeral is Saturday in Monmouth, Illinois. I leave tomorrow after our 8a-10a WWW set. 6 hour road trip with me and the Lord. :) And the added bonus of getting to see family! I can't wait to be with them. Even if it is, yet again, for a time of mourning.

I really am sad about my Aunt's death. When I was really little I remember my Aunt Louise sending me a stuffed animal cat for my birthday. For some reason that cat meant the world to me. I named her Frisky and carried her with me everywhere for months. She's even on the very top of my computer desk as I type this. She is definitely my all time favorite toy, even though I grew up with many high tech electric sound making noises, nothing compared to the hours of fun I had with my little stuffed animal cat.

I hope Aunt Louise knew how much happiness she brought into our lives. She was always fun to visit throughout the years. I'm happy she is in heaven, and really hope she knows how much she will be missed. :)

Wednesdays...

2008-10-22T17:38:00.000-07:00

Although I feel awkward 90% of the time, and don't have much to say.
Wednesdays are officially my new favorite days. Love my team. :)

Meiosis!

2008-10-22T10:06:00.000-07:00

In honor of my Meiosis quiz tonight in Anatomy and Physiology:

Esther Ann Sincox

2008-10-17T15:50:00.000-07:00

Today is my little sister Esther's birthday! She would have been 10...
She was born in 1998 medically fragile and lived about a month.
I wish I could be with my family. :-/

Random Ramblings!

2008-10-15T20:51:00.000-07:00

*Fun fact from my anatomy and physiology class tonight:
Jewish people have the highest tolerence towards alcohal. It's because they have a developed immunity towards it.
Native Americans 2.5% - lowest tolerence toward alcohal.
Germans, Russians, French etc. 90% - average tolerence toward alcohal.
Jewish people 2.5% - highest tolerence towards alcohal.

*Ezekiel 16 has broken my heart for Israel. Jon Thurlow's song helped too. :)

*Cool kiss from the Lord the other day: I came home from the prayer room and Mikey (Dave and Barb's grandson, he's 3 and adorable) was watching the cartoon version of 101 Dalmations. I sat down and watched the last little bit with him before going back to the prayer room. There is a scene where the dalmations are hiding and become trapped by their enemies. So they roll around in soot from a fireplace to disguise themselves as Lab's.

The clip starts at 4 minutes and 30 seconds in if you don't want to watch the whole thing. :)

Later I went back to the praye room and was reading Lamentations.
Lamentations 4:8 But now their faces are blacker than soot. No one recognizes them in the streets...
I know it's kind of silly but the Lord speaks to me in this way so often. Just small kisses from His word let me know He's with me in everything. Which brings me to...

*The changes on Tim's team have been soooo good. I love the people who have joined and am jazzed to get to know them better. Also just the way the Lord orchestrates our team is truely dynamic and powerful. I'm excited to learn and grow partnering with these amazing righteous people and God for the glory of His name.

*Revelation on Ezekiel 20. God speaks so much about doing things for the honor of His name. I've been thinking today about how terrible it would have been if God released His power and strength to the people in Israel at their time of rebellion.

The power of God + The rebellion of the people towards God = Mass destruction.

It's so important to me to posture my heart to have a right response when He does pour out His spirit and power. Acts 2.

That's all I've got. Hope all is well! :)
Love and joy of the Lord be to you all.
<3 Abby

Reflections on the Psalms (a heart of praise) Being a Woman of Psalm 119 - Part 1 Ps. 1-20

2008-10-12T12:30:00.000-07:00

The woman I desire to be for the Man who's deserving.

1) Thinks upon the law of the Lord.

*Psalm 1:2 But they delight in doing everything the Lord wants; day and night they think about His law.

*Psalm 119:(umm... all of it)

*Psalm 18:22 For all His laws are constantly before me; I have never abandoned His principles.

*Psalm 19:7 The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul. The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. 8 The commandments of the Lord are right, bringing joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are clear, giving insight to life.

2) Finds my protection in the Lord.

*Psalm 2:12 ...But what joy for all who find Him!

*Psalm 16:9 No wonder my heart is filled with joy, and my mouth shouts His praises! My body rests in safety.

3) Lifts my heard high in confidence.

*Psalm 3:3 But you, O Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, and the one who lifts my head high.

*Psalm 17:8 Guard me as the apple of Your eye. Hide me in the shadow of Your wings.

4) Looks for the Lord's guidance. Trusts the Lord.

*Psalm 5:8 Lead me in the right path, O Lord, or my enemies will conquer me. Tell me clearly what to do, and show me which way to turn.

*Psalm 9:10 Those who know Your name trust in You, for You, O Lord, have never abandoned anyone who searches for You.

*Psalm 13:5 But I trust in Your unfailing love. I will rejoice because You have rescued me.

*Psalm 16:7 I will bless the Lord who guides me; even at night my heart instructs me. 8I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me.

*Psalm 16:11 You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of Your presence and the pleasures of living with You forever.

*Psalm 18:30 As for God, His way is perfect. All the Lord's promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to Him for protection.

*Psalm 18:35 You have given me the shield of Your salvation. Your right hand supports me; Your gentleness has made me great.

5) Filled with complete joy.

*Psalm 5:11 But let all who take refuge in You rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Protect them, so all who love Your name may be filled with joy.

*Psalm 20:4 May He grant your heart's desire and fulfill all your plans. 5 May we shout for joy when we hear of Your victory, flying banners to honor our God. May the Lord answer all your prayers.

6) Understands my own depravity

*Psalm 8:4 what are mortals that you should think of us, mere humans that you should care for us?

*Matthew 5:3 God blesses those who realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is given to them. (Blessed are the poor and spirit). Not a Psalm, but valid all the same. :)

*Psalm 18:1 I love You Lord; You are my strength.

*Psalm 18:27 You rescue those who are humble, but You humiliate the proud. 28 Lord, You have brought light to my life; my God, You light up my darkness. 29 In Your strength I can crush an army; with my God I can scale any wall.

*Psalm 19:14 May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to You, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

7) Lives with gratitude, bringing glory to God by living righteously.

*Psalm 9:1 I will thank You, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things You have done, 2. I will be filled with joy because of You. I will sing praises to Your name, O Most High.

*Psalm 119:7 When I learn Your righteous laws, I will thank You by living as I should! (Cornerstone idea)

*Matthew 5:7 God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

*Psalm 13:6 I will sing to the Lord because he has been so good to me.

*Psalm 17:15 But because I have done what is right, I will see You. When I awake, I will be fully satisfied, for I will see You face to face.

*Psalm 18:24 The Lord rewarded me for doing right, because of the innocence of my hands in His sight.

Random-ness

2008-10-10T20:30:00.000-07:00

The things of today:

*I have officially finished the book of Jeremiah as of tonight. Only 13 books left to go before I switch to a new bible. Sad day... but my current bible is becoming somewhat unmanagable. It's completely falling apart. I've had to staple many pages back in and tape even more pages together to stop from ripping. It's just old and has the wear and tear of usage.

*Awesome excerp from Jeremiah! I love that the Holy Spirit allowed stuff like this to go into the bible because it sets my mind on the fact that these were real men:

Jeremiah 38:
10 So the king told Ebed-melech, “Take thirty of my men with you, and pull Jeremiah out of the cistern before he dies.” 11 So Ebed-melech took the men with him and went to a room in the palace beneath the treasury, where he found some old rags and discarded clothing. He carried these to the cistern and lowered them to Jeremiah on a rope. 12 Ebed-melech called down to Jeremiah, “Put these rags under your armpits to protect you from the ropes.” Then when Jeremiah was ready, 13 they pulled him out. So Jeremiah was returned to the courtyard of the guard—the palace prison—where he remained.

Armpits still in tact. :) Ebed-melech, and Baruch were my favorite people in the movie Jeremiah, besides Jeremiah himself.

*I really love Monopoly. The game.

*Today Sarah Root and I hung out. We started driving and somehow ended up in Olathe. So we found the Bass Pro Shop and spent a good portion of the afternoon in there. It's a pretty sweet store I must say.

*I've had a Jon Thurlow song stuck in my head for 3 days now. He had an incredible set this last Wednesday. Totally softened my heart towards Israel.

*Last thing... I've got a hard day coming up tomorrow, so pray for me if you get the chance. :)

<3

Oh October, it's what you do to me...

2008-10-08T19:37:00.000-07:00

September was a month of endings and I feel like October is bringing new beginnings. Which just logically makes since, right? I feel like I've been stepping forward into a new season of learning how to learn. I know that is strange sounding but I've felt like the Lord has been speaking to me a lot about seeking out His wisdom in the leadership surrounding me. I am constantly around these amazing men and women who pour infinite wisdom into my heart day after day. Often times they don't even know they're doing it, they're usually just telling a story about home life, or something cool that happened in a meeting or in the prayer room. But the words they speak make me crave more of God and I'm truly thankful for the blessing of faithful leaders.

I'm so at a privilege to be under Tim Reimherr's leadership and being on his worship team. I love the team so much and am so grateful to be a part of it. Though a lot of changes are coming, I'm excited to see what God has in store for us next. Especially as we pursue growing through fellowship more and continue studying the word as a team. This is just a season for me of gleaning as much as possible.

I think this struck my heart majorly yesterday in a briefing for the 4pm Intercession set. Matt Candler had come in and was sharing with us out of Romans 1 and Philippians 2. It was powerful. I always feel the presence of the Lord when Matt shares. Anyway, point being, something hit me of how much I've neglected listening and really soaking in the words of others. I want a truly teachable spirit that absorbs all that I can from the godly leaders around me. And I could go into a 3 day rant about the humility of Jesus and His teachable spirit, but I won't because my fingers would get tired and maybe fall off and then I couldn't run screens in the prayer room which would just be all together bad. I've said too much already, I'm going to bed. <3

Interphase of Mitosis

2008-10-07T05:27:00.000-07:00

Last night in my Anatomy and Physiology class we were studying the Inter-phase process of Mitosis. My teacher, Dr. Wooley (No joke. He's awesome!) was telling us that Inter-phase is refered to as the resting phase of Mitosis but how the chromosomes within the cells don't really rest at all but rather grow, and then become replica's.

This is what struck my heart... In a period of what is determined as 'rest' the chromosomes 1. grow and 2. replicate.

How much more is this truth applicable to God's calling for us to rest. I've definitely felt at points in my journey with the Lord that He has brought me into seasons of rest. I've started to wonder how much more I grown in these seasons. How much have I learned to replicate the kindness, love and compassion of Jesus when I've taken a big chunk of time to sit at His feet and gaze on His beauty, rather than chase after what I perceive to be His will in my life. I guarantee if there was a way to measure how much growth I've done as a lover of God, the larger growth would be found in the seasons of rest, sitting before Him rather than going hard after what I think would be for the good of the Kingdom.

Small change

2008-10-03T20:59:00.000-07:00

It's not my ideal to have thoughts towards anything or anyone (beyond the love thy neighbor as thy self commandment) other than God. But being human and ... a girl... it comes about that I have been thrown into a roller coaster ride of inevitable thoughts and feelings. The more disregard I have towards these emotions, the more persistent they become and I have figured out that there is no escaping such things and I am doomed (or blessed, which ever one beholds) to except the fate of not avoiding the so-called source of such feelings. In essence... I've met a guy who changes everything...

This is against my once thought better judgement. I remember expressing to Derek Loux multiple times in previous life group meetings that I was rather fond of St. Paul's advice to remain just as you are in the Corinthians. Although this was well forced into my mind by intentional efforts, my heart constantly pulled me in the opposite direction. Which consisted of prospectively desiring a family of my own and a outrageous love for children. I find myself at a weakness of maintaining any sort of focus upon anything when a baby is around displaying the joy of the Lord with a smile. Thus being said my hardened heart to the even mention of being in a relationship, due to past pain in this area, is completely disrupted and I find myself some what vulnerable to feelings and emotions. This is a slam to my own (thought to be) personal strength towards this topic, and a weakness I am not yet pleased to boast in.

But I'm not anymore against the idea, so I'm sorry to my friends whom I have given difficult times about even contemplating relationships. :) I feel your pain. However this does not change my standards or pre-set bounderies. I just feel more vulnerable to the possibility of it maybe happening, yes. However I have determined it would have to be completely God orchestrated and also solely purposed to bring more closeness with God. For the fact that the only reason I would want a relationship on earth, is to get deeper revelation of the marriage between Jesus and the church. It's all about getting closer to God.

That being said, I praise God that there is indeed no charge for awesomeness, or attractiveness... :)

2008-10-02T20:27:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYRpIf2F9NA

September 24th

2008-09-24T08:18:00.000-07:00

Today is:
*My Mom's birthday
*The 1 year anniversary of the first time I ever ran screens.
*The ending of one year of consecration for the Lord
*A good day. :)

I yearbooked myself...

2008-09-20T14:50:00.000-07:00

I yearbooked myself...

www.yearbookyourself.com

3 Men and the Light!

2008-09-17T21:23:00.000-07:00

These are some videos my friends back in Michigan made for evangelism.
They're pretty obnoxious, but I grew up with 2 of these guys and love them too pieces. My favorites are 2 and 3. Good job you guys. :)

Incarnate Thirst

2008-09-15T21:02:00.000-07:00

"Just like Adam we do have a choice as to whether we will honor the way we were created and love God, but we must understand that there is nothing we can do to change the way we were fashioned" -Stephen Venable

"Hey, Whoever you are who wrote on my jeep"

2008-09-14T19:16:00.000-07:00

This afternoon while leaving the FSM building I discovered a message written on my window. It just said "HEY ABBY!" but I'm dying of curiosity to know who did it. People shouldn't do things like this to me without revealing themselves. :-p I don't handle these things well so it's become this huge mystery that I'll probably loose sleep over. I've eliminated certain possibilities and texted pretty much everyone I think it could be. But no one has come clean. Come on people! Curiosity is killing this cat!!!

On another note Judith (my favorite German ex-roomie) and I went to Chipotle to catch up and talk about how life was before people wrote on my jeep without leaving their name. While we were eating 4 police men walked in probably hungry from stopping all window writing shenanigans. Well as we were leaving Judith and I were highly amused that we were so securely surrounded by their vehicles. I just thought the picture below was highly appropriate... Let's see you try and write on my jeep now!!!

Gift giving

2008-09-14T18:27:00.000-07:00

During FMA last year every student was required to take a personality test in order to discover the best ways of working with one another in such a close environment. I resulted in being an Otter (fun loving gal) and Golden Retriever (administrative evaluator type). Anyway, a couple of friends and I took it a step further and took another quiz to discover what our love languages are, not just for 'future husband' benefit, but also just to know how we like to be loved and how we like to give our love. The quiz is based on the book 'The 5 love languages by Gary Chapman'. In conclusion I found out that my receiving love language is physical touch while my giving away love language is giving gifts.

I really feel like this is accurate for me because there is nothing I love more than giving gifts to people I really truly admire and cherish. A lot of the time I feel like I am not so great at expressing how I feel with words. So if I really like someone I get them a gift.

Gifts can say so many different things like: "hey, I was listening to you when you told me you really wanted _______". Or "I know you really like these things and wanted to bless you with getting you one". Or even "this is just something I might thought you like". It could also be a reminder of a memory like "hey, remember that day when we laughed so hard about so and so such thing, well this totally reminded me of that". The list goes on and on. I love it.

The good thing about taking these self examining quizzes is that for the most part I don't evaluate how I come off to other people. I could really like someone but have really closed off body language. Or I could really want to talk to someone but never speak up (not out of fear) just out of not knowing the things to say. Gift giving for me is the easiest form of showing affection/respect/admiration because I feel like a present says everything for me or jump starts what it is I want to say by beginning with a simple "I appreciate you".

The point of this post is not so much conveying how I love other people but more so a statement and testimony of how this has transformed me into learning how I express myself to God. I have had such an awesome time giving to the Lord. Finding what He wants and sneaking little presents here and there. He's a hard guy to surprise but I've found so much delight and favor upon my life just in looking for ways to give more to Him. I really think all of our giving love languages are gift giving to God to some extent simply because He longs for us to live righteously and that takes the sacrifice of giving of yourself. The best part of it all is that He created me to receive love through physical touch and honors that on occasion with physical manifestations of Himself. How rad is that? I don't know much but I know how I love and I know how I want to be loved back and all I can do is come to Him as a little weak girl hoping for more of Him.

I feel loved when...

The Five Love Languages

My Primary Love Language is Physical Touch

My Detailed Results:
Physical Touch:	11
Receiving Gifts:	10
Quality Time:	6
Acts of Service:	2
Words of Affirmation:	1

About this quiz

Unhappiness in relationships is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. It can be helpful to know what language you speak and what language those around you speak.

Tag 3 people so they can find out what their love language is.

Take the Quiz!
Check out the Book

"Everything I am for Your Kingdoms cause"

2008-09-13T19:12:00.000-07:00

I've been reading through some of my old journals. Not just hand written journals but also posts on the Internet I wrote in high school on livejournal and xanga. It's pretty cool to see the things the Lord was revealing to me throughout the different situations and circumstances of life.

There's a few consistent themes popping up in my current season and turning to the Lord in circumstances happens to be one of them. The Lord is good all the time. Rain or shine, bad or good, healthy relationships or not so healthy relationships. He has taught, and continues to teach me that He is enough. At least recently I've been impacted with revelation that my relationship with God does not depend on circumstances. But a lot of my focus was aimed towards 'my relationship with God does not depend on my bad circumstances'. When it seems like all this time He's been showing my heart that my relationship with Him doesn't depend on what is good in my life/the good circumstances either. I think that's sometimes a harder reality to come by. I think a lot of the time loving God when things are good comes more naturally and that's why I didn't catch on to what He's been revealing to me for so long. It's really coming to terms with He is enough.

I've struggled with this a lot these past few weeks because I feel like the Lord has placed a couple different doors of opportunity in front of me because my year of consecration is now coming to an end. The Lord did a ton of stuff in my heart/life last September and the 23rd will mark the one year anniversary of that. So I feel like I'm coming to a cross road of descion making.

Choice A:
Suffer through the lesson of learning patience and choose to go through this door. This door seems to be the painful, lonely, self sacrificing option but I truly feel like if this is the route I travel there is a greater existence of the fullness of the Lord.

Choice B:
Immediate. I could automatically get the satisfaction of the desires in question (which are completely godly mind you) but not have the lessons learned in the encounters of waiting even longer for what God has in store.

Conclusion:
Choice A wins because of the greater love it brings between me and the Lord. It's always been the Lord first and I have to wait on Him to bring circumstances (both good or bad) into my life and not try and control destiny. The hardest part is that if I choose A I turn myself over to completely trusting in the Lord for receiving what I want in the end, because it has yet to be made known if the possibility is actually something directed in that path. While if I pick B, I get what I want and quicker.

However the choice is still A. It's always been him. I just didn't know it for a really long time. And to be completely honest/truthful I don't want either choice if picking one does not bring more fellowship with the Spirit, partnership with Christ, and glory to the Father.

"Everything I am for Your Kingdoms cause, as I walk from Earth into eternity"

Okay this was just funny...

2008-09-03T21:18:00.000-07:00

Loving others is essentially what makes us grow in faith. And Jesus said that whole, if you have faith as big as a musterd seed you can move mountains, so I'm guessing not too many people excel in the area of loving others since I haven't seen a ton of mountains flying around.

P.S.

2008-09-03T21:01:00.001-07:00

A note on things to come.
I've been doing a lot of studying on the Psalms this summer and for this past week have been caught up on Psalm 119. I want to write some about my own heart reflections/application of this Psalm and am hoping it comes as some benefit to you as well. I'm not calling this a blog series because I'm horrible with those. I still haven't finished my 'so-called-series' on praying through the beatitudes, although my heart is still truely set ablaze when I take the time to meditate on Matthew 5. Anyway, point being that it is my intent to not get scripturally dull with my blogging. Even though I have been posting more about feelings and life updates. Just an FYI. :)

Family

2008-09-03T20:37:00.000-07:00

The hardest thing about living in Kansas City is that I'm so far away from my family. I love my parents and my brother so much and really do miss them. But I don't feel like I miss them because of their individual qualities as much as missing the way I see Jesus in them. To be completely honest I selfishly miss the reality of having the support system of a family right at my finger tips. My parents are just a phone call away but it's not the same as actually being in the room, challenging each other spiritually and emotionally. I just know my heart has been longing for these tangible relationships lately. Finding Christ in people as well as scripture.

Quick update for those tracking with me.
I'm still doing the Surgical Tech. program at Penn Valley this semester. Studies are going well but it is pretty difficult retaining all of the information. Especially since most of it is Greek or Latin. It's also hard to be back in a secular school. My heart breaks for a lot of my class mates. However I have found a lot of opportunity to commune with the spirit during classes. Pray for me to be a light and that I would help to capture their hearts with desire for God.

Blessings all. I am so thankful my friends for your support as I chase after my dreams and catch up to them. The Lord is good.

Day?

2008-08-22T20:00:00.000-07:00

I never know good titles for these anymore. But a lot happened today so I wanted to write about it somewhere other than my faithful red journal.

The day started off not so great when I first got to the briefing room this morning. Dana was sharing that on her way to the prayer room today her and her husband witnessed a motorcyclist try and cut a curb. Well he didn't make it and ended up flipping over the guardrail thereby killing him on impact. The team started talking about the details of the accident. "His motorcycle was red, this all happened over on blue river." The more that was said the more my mind began to think that this very well could have been a friend of mine from FMA last year named Ben. He drives a red motorcycle and if he were headed to the new FMA building he very well could have been on blue river at that specific time, also I believe I have a slight rememberance of him telling me about cutting corners on his bike before. Anyway, this being said I found myself in an absolute disgusting place of unsurity/insecurity. My adrenaline began to rush like right before your body begins preparing itself for major pain, not necessarily physical but sometimes just emotional. It's totally a defense mechanisim I aquired somewhere along the way of dealing with death of friends and/or family. I texted Ben to ask if it were him and the minute and a half waiting for a response was torture. Thank goodness he didn't turn off his phone at that specific time or leave it at home for the day. He texted me back completely safe and probably no where near the acciedent what so ever. My heart truely goes out to the family of this person but I have to say I am so relieved it wasn't Ben or anyone for that matter whom I am friends with. Or just anyone who holds a place in my heart.

The reason I'm so adimently blogging about this event is honestly because of the Lord's hold on my life through these circumstances and how easy it is for adrenaline and fear to consume my emotions. Just being real. I am a firm believer in the Ecclesiastes principles of there is a time and season for all things. As well as the Matthew 5 beatitude of blessed are those who mourn. However in sudden rush where does my mind wander to? Is my hope and trust really in the Lord or am I just really comfortable in saying that it is? Through praying today I felt like if I were completely rooted in God's control over my life I could have risen to a place beyond the fear of losing my friend. Which is sort of ironic actually. :)

Anyway, my point being is that I'm so weak and broken and have so much learning left to do. God is good and I know I love him. That's basically all I have and all I can rely on. So far, so good.

Okay enough of that rambling, I've got some more (less dramatic) exciting news. This past week I started school at a community college here in Kansas City. I've got about a year and a half left in a Surgical Nurse/Surgical Technician program that I've been working on. This semester I am taking Anatomy and Physiology and also Medical Terminology. I love my Anatomy and Phys. class but the Med. Term. is pretty boring so far. :-x It's all Latin and Greek, which is sort of cool, but right now we're in the mundane learning of prefixes, root words, and suffixes.

I'm still working as Tim's administrator/power pointer so I'm having a blast getting to know individuals on the team while he's off doing onething conferences in Asia.

Then as of today I joined a prophecy team! This is pretty exciting because its only a once a week commitment and I feel like the Lord has something in store by doing this. I'm so jazz'd I get to grow in this area of gifting. It's a great opportunity.

Other big news is that our weekly Encountering God Services have moved back into the FSM building instead of the prayer room. This weekend Mike is starting two different series. Friday nights he's talking about the 1st and greatest commandment and Saturday nights he's going through the book of Revelation. If you ever get a chance to watch the services I highly recommend them. www.ihop.org

Other than that I've been praying and seeking the Lord in the Psalms and hanging out with a bunch of girl friends these past few weeks. That's all I've got this time. Feel free to keep me posted on what's happening with you! It always helps to know specific details of what to pray for! I'd love to hear from you in a comment or via email: abbysincox@ihop.org

Thanks for the prayer and support! Love you guys!
-Abby

Current Reads: 'Desiring God' by John Piper, 'Lady in Waiting' by Debby Jones and Jackie Kendall, and (new! just got in the mail today!) Reflections on the Psalms by C.S. Lewis.

Getting back to that place

2008-08-14T09:38:00.000-07:00

I'll sit here wondering about you...

2008-08-13T23:18:00.000-07:00

I have no idea what I'm doing. :)
I just know that he warms my heart.

Psalm 8!

2008-08-04T23:01:00.000-07:00

Well due to the unfortunate fluid in my lungs I have found it hard to sleep because of coughing. So lucky for you I come bearing pictures. :)

One of my all time favorite Psalms is Psalm 8. So when Dave (current/new/amazing/really fun land lord) said Sarah and I could paint our rooms any way we wanted I decided to do a theme of this Psalm 8:3

When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers— the moon and the stars you set in place—.

Some friends and I had a lot of fun putting the whole thing together. Here's some pics. :) Enjoy.

From Myrtle to Cypress :)

2008-08-04T22:35:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 55:13 Where once there were thorns, cypress trees will grow. Where nettles grew, myrtles will sprout up. These events will bring great honor to the Lord’s name; they will be an everlasting sign of his power and love.”

I've had this verse on my heart for awhile now, contemplating how much it represents this summer. The deepest connection I have found with it is truly there is nothing I want more than for the events of my life to do this one very thing: Bring great honor to the Lord's name and be an everlasting sign of His power and love. There is nothing I want more than to stay completely steady in keeping my life 100% for Him. I don't want to have regret on missing out on one opportunity to bring Him glory. I lose sight of this reality so much. In essence it's losing sight of love. I wonder when I'll finally get it. When I will finally stop having to remind myself that there is absolutely nothing apart from Him and all other things in this life are an overflow of this already established relationship.

This summer I've gone through so much restoration. So many things have been broken off my life and I finally feel completely free and healed of hurt and pain from the past that I completely repressed for so long. I'm free to start fresh. It's the greatest feeling in the world and I feel the Lord guiding my steps once again.

I'm not going back to FMA. My goal is to become staff at IHOP and still be on Tim R.'s team. I'm going to take a few classes at a community college working towards Surgical Technology/Surgical Nurse. I'm about 3 semesters away from finishing that. The classes there are pretty flexible schedule wise so I'm not quite sure what the Lord has in store for me with the rest of my time. I would love to be in the prayer room as much as possible. I maybe will audit an FSM class. Or possibly get a job at a near by hospital. Who knows. I just know I'm in love and I'm free and I want what He wants and ready for whatever comes next.

Last but not least I must apologize to you faithful few who have been tracking my blog. I'm really going to try to start posting more frequently. I have quite a bit of free right now because I am stuck at home with both Bronchitis and Pink eye. Please keep me in your prayers and feel free to comment anything. :)

Blessings,
Love Abby

Amazing Song!?!

2008-06-27T00:14:00.000-07:00

Tim sang this during a devo. today in the prayer room. I'm not sure if he wrote it or what but it made me smile. :)

"Life is not found in food or drink
Or in the way you do your hair
Not found in what people think
Or in the clothes that you wear
Not found in the place where you live
Or the things that you do
If you want to know life within
Listen and I'll tell you

If you want to do the works of God
Believe in Him from your heart
If you want to know life within
Listen and obey His commandments

Life is not found in who you meet
Or the impressions that you make
It's not found in what they perceive
Whether it's real or it's fake
It's not found in what you can prove
Or in the heads you can turn
If you want to know life within
Listen and I'll tell you

He rewards those who seek Him diligently
He rewards those who believe that He is good"

I'll post again soon! Promise!

Oracle from the prayer room today.

2008-05-23T20:01:00.000-07:00

Lonliness seems to be your portion.
Lonliness like a plague.
You say lonliness is unescapable

Lonliness seems to be your portion.
Your lot in life, solitude.
And you have said God you know I believe You satisfy but
there's a gap between what I believe and what I know.

Lonliness has been all around you.
Lonliness like a plague.
You've been trying to be strong and meet Me there in the hunger.
But the hunger can't be satisfied.

I hear the Lord say I love you the way that you love Me.
Even in the midst of the ache.

And time and time again you've said God
You satisfy but if you're honest you would say
there's a gap between what you believe and
what you know and experience.

Lonliness like a desert is your soul.
Like a desert where no man goes.
Like a barren land is your heart within you.
Lonliness is what you know.

It's okay to tell Me how you're feeling
It's okay to say your heart breaks
It's okay to tell Me what you're feeling in the ache of lonliness

I was a man who walked alone
And I will meet you in the ache
I am the one who can sympathize.

Lonliness will be your escort into the deeper things of Me.
For all my friends walk alone in the desert.
They all do. For this is the place where I will meet with you.

Come to me
Even though your eyes cannot see
Come to me
Even though your heart is like a stone.

At times I know you cry and even tears run dry sometimes.
You feel so num and cold as though you'll never feel anything
but alone.

I was a man who walked alone
I will meet you in the ache
I am the one who can sympathize with you.

Just run to me.
Run to me.
Even in your unbelief.
Keep on saying that I satisfy and someday you will
realize that I do.

Just don't quit. Just don't give in.
If you don't quit you'll win.

Don't give up and don't give in.
If you don't quit you win, you win, you win.

I was a man who walked alone and I overcame and
you will overcome too.

Lonliness will be your escort into me.
I will meet you there in the ache.

Just be honest with me.
Cause I can see right through it all.
Just come to me.
Don't give up. Don't give in.
If you don't quit, you win.

I was a man who walked alone.
I will meet you in the break.
I am the one who can sympathize with you.

2007 Recap.

2008-05-11T20:18:00.000-07:00

1. absolutely is a good word. Abby-solutely.

2. Really depressing story... my life. I'm way upset with my heart.

3. Not really sure how it happened but...
somehow I got the greatest best friend on the face of the planet.

4."I'm taking your advice and I'm looking on the bright side and
balancing that whole thing."

5."The only difference between a love story movie and a stalker
movie is whether the person receiving the attention wants it or not"

6. I don't know about you guys but I'm in the mood for some
harmless fun.

7. And is that what you call tact?
You're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back.
So let's end this call, and end this conversation.

8. June 8th - So today I got an email from The
Forerunner Music Academy saying I was accepted!

9. I respect a man who can play Guitar, Bass AND Keyboard!

10. I've got the greatest Mom in the world!

It's complicated because of the waiting...

2008-04-05T16:21:00.000-07:00

"No need for reminding, you're still all that matters to me"

The worst seasons in the Lord are when you are waiting for something. Especially if your waiting goes without answers in prayer. Specifically with my complicated relationship status... It's only complicated because I'm waiting this year to find out if it's true. And then what is the timing of it all.

These past few weeks I feel like God is on me so much about finding the balance between being social and spending time with Him. I have gotten so many different opinions about how there is no separation between secular and spiritual and how you are supposed to glorify God in all you do and I understand implications of what fellowship really is. But I don't really get how you can fully glorify God while playing Monopoly or a card game. Granted the conversation could be focused towards God, it often times is not. Or playing basketball, watching a movie etc. It's something I'm learning because if sin is simply defined as something that doesn't bring you closer to God then I feel like I need to re-evaluate what I do with my time. Even if it is considered a radical approach to getting closer to God/not sinning. It's one of those things where if it's not by Him, for Him, or to Him should I really be participating in it, because I'm guessing it's not helping to bring the kingdom to earth.

The whole point is I know that I am being fashioned into the person I'm supposed to be when the waiting is over. I just don't want to take more time to get there than previously scheduled in His agenda.

Just some thoughts.

Leap Day!

2008-02-29T17:44:00.000-08:00

Today is Leap Day. Tradition holds that a woman may ask a man to marry them on Leap Day. If the man refuses, he owes the woman a kiss, $1.99 (an English pound), and either a new pair of silk gloves or a silk gown. Now’s your chance!

As far as leap day is concerned I had a very good day. Classes went by fast and now I'm on break for the next 2 weeks. Also for my Harp and Bowl class today I got to chorus lead for the first time. It was really insane but I loved it.

My week (which was actually only 5 days) of JPR'ing is now finished and I'm excited to spend as much time as possible in the GPR these next 4 days, then Wednesday Becca, Judith and I are road tripping up to MI-Town (Michigan) for some family and friend time, I can't wait but I confess I will miss this place like crazy.

Let is rain :)

2008-02-28T05:09:00.000-08:00

Screen typos are the best because on a few rare occasions you get a worship leader to laugh along with you. That just makes your day better by like 10%

Yesterday for my vocal studio class, Melanie, Chelsea and I interviewed a girl named Caitlyn on Luke Wood's team. It was actually really cool. Then Misty Edwards came and talked to all the vocal majors at FMA last night. My favorite thing she said was that her motto when first getting started singing was "if I flop, I flop".

Haha I love it!

Oh, we all get run over once in our lives.
But one must pick oneself up again
and behave as if it were nothing.
~Henry Ibsen~

Birthdays and Burdens

2008-02-25T20:36:00.000-08:00

Today is my Daddy's birthday... And my heart is broken because I didn't call home to wish him a happy one. I love him so much, and I miss him a lot! Like a lot a lot. I really did want to call.

I am just drowning in homework and classes, plus trying to maintain a prayer life and practice as much as possible. But there are really no excuses. I had time. I should have called. It's way too late now... So I feel completely awful and am planning on doing my very best to make it up to him when I am in Michigan next week.

I am ranting because today I felt so burdened by my weakness and brokenness. Which is a direct result (a blessed result) of giving up my preferred time in the GPR and attending JPR sets instead. The reason being because in the JPR I strive intently to pursue God. I notice the time ticking slowly by, where as in the GPR I just sort of get lost in the beauty of the Lord and am most of the time in ecstasy of His presence until I have to go somewhere else. It is good for me to differentiate between the two because I feel like I can get a lot of focused study done in JPR.

In the JPR I set lists in my mind of what reading or journal writing gets done when, and guidelines/time limits to accomplish this. I am forced to keep focus on what I am doing or else my mind wanders and I daydream/fantasize about non-significant things. Side note - I do believe day dreaming is sometimes used by God and sometimes from God, but that is not the type I am speaking of. I am talking about those which you know are from the flesh. I hate these types of day dreams because after finding temporary satisfaction from the infatuation or thought I often times just wait for the 2 hour set to be done, sit there unengaged, or worse, leave.

Today however I did enjoy the sets I attended quite a bit and was able to engage (by God's grace) rather easily. In fact I found it rather next to impossible to not skip the all staff meeting and attend the 4-6p JPR set. However I think that was maybe influenced by other unmentionable reasons.

JPR!

2008-02-24T20:50:00.000-08:00

The International House of Prayer in Kansas City, Missouri currently has two prayer rooms in operation. The Global prayer room which runs 24/7 and the Justice prayer room which runs 24/5. My schedule has been primarily composed of only attending sets held in the global for the utmost honest reason that I like it better.

Well today while praying in the GPR I felt challenged by the Lord to spend just as much time I would spend in the GPR, in the JPR this week starting tomorrow. With a few slight exceptions.

1) I run screens for the Global prayer room and required to go to those sets because of previous commitment.
2) Tuesdays we are required for school to attend 2 intercession meetings in the GPR.

My heart is conflicted because I love the GPR and leaving for a week is not my idea of fun. I love the familiar faces and the family feeling I have pre-established in the GPR.

But I feel the Lord in this so as for this week (with the exception sets) I'll awkwardly be a new face in the JPR. This should be interesting...

What's on my heart for worship teams.

2008-02-20T16:17:00.000-08:00

For my Prophetic Worship at the End of the Age class we were all split up into groups and host a two hour healing ministry set. It's going to be really cool because I'm prayer leading for my team while my good friend James Kufeldt leads worship. Well we decided to have a worship team meeting where we could do some practicing and I volunteered my house. So today James volunteered me to give directions to everyone. So this was my email to them.

Hey all you bright and shining people,

Well since James so graciously volunteered me to email all of you directions, I am. But along with the directions you're going to get a ton of rambling. And you must endure it, because you can't get to the directions until you read all of this nonsense (that's not really nonsense) first. And even though I'm not technically even on your team yet, I have high hopes that you will all love me more by the end of this email. Then I'll get invited to lots of tea parties in the Kingdom, but I will drink juice because I don't like tea much. And I really don't like coffee.

Well tonight we all have the amazing opportunity to party at my house. From the sound of it we are starting at 8p, tomorrow night (Friday, Feb. 21) for the 2 people who are not able to do 6-8p. But in all honesty. The people who can make it at 6p should really just come at 6p. Then we can have some team bonding and I maybe will feed you, or you could bring a snack to share and we can jam out for awhile before having to get serious.

This was actually on my heart the other night, the idea of bonding for our team. I think there is spiritual power that God gives when we are in fellowship with one another. It's probably biblical. Anyway, if you think of any of the really good teams at IHOP the one thing they all have in common is that they're all really good friends with each other.

My point being is that there seems to be a dynamic of relationship in the teams that really flow with the spirit. Because if you're flowing in unity as a people in agreement for the break in of God's authority, I believe the Lord sees the heart cry as something He's more willing to break into. Because if you think about it from His point of view. Are you going to want to break into a set where the people are all good friends to they talk about the set over and over again and give you the glory over and over again. Or a team that just shrugs off a set 3 hours after its over.

I think the secret behind any performance (whether its for God or just jammin' out in front of a bunch of friends) is the relationships dynamically intwining the team/worship band together. And I think we'll see healing break out and a power factor no one can imagine if we emphasis God authority and give Him the glory and strategically work on building relationships up until the point we actually do this thing. And I hope and pray that this is something you strive for in future teams. Because we're all here in FMA getting equipped to be worshipers, so we will more than likely be surrounded by people with the same heart set, and the same longing to glorify God as us for a long time. This really was just a long way to say “Come to my house at 6p and enjoy the fellowship of our team, so our set for class is amazing”.

Just some thoughts. :)

(Then I actually gave directions to my house).

May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all
<3 Abby

P.S. I will take any questions after the harp and bowl class tomorrow. Or you can shoot me an email.
P.S.S. I am sorry to all of you who James will volunteer in the future because he sure won't be volunteering me, since this is the result of that.
P.S.S.S. Who is Thomas Quinlan?
P.S.S.S.S. James, I had to get on facebook to get the right spelling of your last name.

CEC withdrawl

2008-02-18T09:46:00.000-08:00

Quick update on me. Every Sunday I run screens (over head power point) for IHOP's Forerunner Christian Fellowship worship during the 8:30a service. Then after worship and announcements are over I go to the Children's Equipping Center and help out with the 1-3 year olds. Then I stay for the 10:30a service and actually engage in worship and listen to the sermon. Well yesterday I was totally bummed because I felt like I was coming down with the flu so I couldn't hang out with the kids. It's like my favorite thing to do because I feel so at home with them. Like I don't have to try and be anything. I can just goof around without any expectations. It helps my week go by faster looking forward to these Sundays. Is that strange? I think I should stop ranting now. :-p This was my mourning speal for the week.

Praying through the beatitudes 2. Blessed are those who mourn

2008-02-18T08:24:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I know it's really lame that I'm not keeping these together. Maybe someday my organizational skills will be more up to par, for you faithful readers. Although I'm not really sure there are any.

Matthew 5:4 - Blessed are those who mourn
*Father, I am so sorry that I hurt You. Please forgive me for my sins. Help me have Your perspective. Let me return to the way You see me and circumstances surrounding me.

This goes along with our theme of repentance from the previous post. :)

*Help me bridal my tongue.

Another prayer that hits with a blow. Speech is by far the hardest thing to control. I had a conversation with my friend Dayna after she had just completed a 3-day speech fast. She said that essentially once she started speaking again it was easier to not talk at all than to think about what you were saying before saying it. I would not give up the revelation I got from my speech fast last September for anything.

As for what the bible says about speech... :) Here's some good verses to pray through when taming your tongue. I typed out my favorites.

1. Psalm
-19:14 - May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to You, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.
-34:12-13
-39:1-3
-45:1
-64:3
-139:4 - You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord
-141:3 - Take control of what I say, O Lord, and keep my lips sealed

2. Proverbs
-4:24
-10:11
-10:19 - Don't talk too much, for it fosters sin. Be sensible and turn off the flow!
-13:2-3
-14:3
-15:4 - Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.
-15:28 - The godly think before speaking; the wicked spout evil words
-16:23-24
-17:27-28
-18:20-21 - Words satisfy the soul as food satisfies the stomach; the right words on a person's lips brings satisfaction. 21. Those who love to talk will experience the consequences, for the tongue can kill or nourish life.
-20:15 - Wise speech is rarer and more valuable than gold and rubies
-26:22-23
-26:28 - A lying tongue hates its victims, and flatery causes ruin
-29:20 - There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking

3. Ecclesiastes
-5:1-3
-6:11 - The more words you speak, the less they mean. So why overdo it?

4. Matthew
-12:33-37
-15:18 - But evil words come from an evil heart and defile the person who says them.

5. John 8:26

6. 1 Corinthians 2:13

7. Ephesians 4:29-5:9

8. James
-1:26 - If You claim to be religious but don't control your tongue, you are just fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.
-2:12
-3:1-12

9. 1 Peter 3:10

*Unacceptance of the state of the world.

This is kind of a strange one that I like to pray. I know the Lord knows that I'm not happy about people being killed, abortion, human trafficking, terrorisim, drunkeness, diseases, immorality etc. The list goes on and on. However I love to pray this because it's clearly positioning myself in a status of "God, I want to partner with you and bring unity to the world through Your Son." It reminds me of whose side I'm on. It helps me to feel like I (through partnership with Him) have authority over these things and that impacts my prayer. It allows me to say "Lord, I am not in agreement with the things of the devil and I will not rest until You come back and fix it all." So it also presses me to anticipate His return more and more.

*Bring speedy Justice and Righteous Judgement.

I love this because I used to fear judgement in terms of I looked upon it negetively. Not because of uncertainty of my own salvation, but because judgement is just sort of a scary word. When in all actuality we want judgement. It's a good thing.

*End abortion
*End human trafficking

These are two things the Lord has put on my heart to pray for the abolishment of.

*Break into Africa
*Break into Israel
*Break into America
*Send revival

It's important to pray for places the Lord puts on your heart.

*Unsaved friends

I've got a list of friends I'm always contending for salvation.

*Come back Jesus. Nothing is right til You split the sky.

It's biblical, we are to pray and fast for His return.

*Help me concur these thought.

Repentance

2008-02-16T16:28:00.000-08:00

I am currently reading Bill Johnson's book "The Supernatural Power of a Transformed Mind". It is an incredible book so far. Anyway, I thought this was a cool/practical little excerpt from it on repentance:

"'Re' means to go back 'Pent' is like the penthouse, the top floor of a building. Repent, then, means to go back to God's perspective on reality. And in that perspective there is a renewal, a reformation that affects our intellect, our emotions and every part of our lives". pg. 44

2 Corinthians!

2008-02-16T15:46:00.000-08:00

My favorite book right now (in the Bible) is 2 Corinthians. I must admit that I am probably a little bias towards this book because last September I felt there was some prophetic confirmation within it's chapters. But once again I find myself completely enriched with revelation and knowledge from this book and am strongly favoring it. This will probably only last until tomorrow when I begin reading Galatians. However never the less I have been hit with a few things while reading this through it today.

Paul so obviously understands the value of patience and endurance especially in the midst of suffering. I love his strong emphasis on thankfulness and suffering bringing glory to God because I believe these to be the two core foundation principles of the fasted lifestyle in the near future.

Blessed are those who are not offended. Matthew 11:6

I think the subject of suffering is way overlooked. We don't really have a concept of it in our western mindset and I think it is something we can use to extravagantly give glory to God.

2 Corinth. 4:10 Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.

I'm definitely not saying go out and look for ways to suffer, don't get me wrong. And I know that this is a huge topic that I am not even scratching the surface on. I just know that if I were to begin to endure the things Paul talks about in
2 Corinth. 6:5 - being beaten, jailed, face to face with angry mobs, exhausted, sleepless, without food. I would not be able to say I proved patient through trials.

2 Corinthians 6:4 In everything we do, we show that we are true ministers of God. We patiently endure troubles and hardships and calamities of every kind. 5 We have been beaten, been put in prison, faced angry mobs, worked to exhaustion, endured sleepless nights, and gone without food.

How do I know this? Because I've spent this last week mostly complaining about how long and often classes are. About how much homework/reading assignments and practice time we have. How there is a severe lack of consistent prayer room time in my life/schedule. About how I can't seem to focus my heart on being satisfied in God because I have found some boy to be completely amazing/distracting. Talk about pathetic suffering. :-p

So I pray the Lord puts this truth within me:
2 Corinthians 11:30 If I must boast, I would rather boast about the things that show how weak I am.

Survey!

2008-02-08T13:54:00.000-08:00

1. Full name: Abagail Lane Sincox

2. Birthday: November 28

3. What are you listening to right now: The prayer room webcast Jon Thurlow's set.

4. First thing you notice about a guy/girl: Hair, but eyes are a close second.

5. Last person you talked to on the phone: My Mom

6. Strawberry Blonde with blonde highlights

7. Eye color: Blue

8. Siblings: 1 brother (Tad), 1 sister (Esther)

9. Favorite food: Mac and Cheese

10. What's under your bed: carpet

11. What books are you reading: Bible (currently John), Prince Caspian, Secrets of
the Secret place, When Jesus Returns, Supernatural Power of a Transformed Mind, Evidential Power of Beauty.

12. What's on your mouse pad: I don't have a mouse pad. I really want one though.

13. Favorite Board Game: Monopoly

14. Ran screens for Grace Kim, came home and talked to room mates.

15. Favorite Smells: Strawberry stuff!

16. Can you touch your nose with your tongue: no, but I'm not really sure why anyone would want to.

17. What inspires you: God and music.

18. Favorite Flower: carnations

19. Do you play any instruments: yeah I sing a little, play keys a little, guitar a little and I play flute.

20. Favorite place to be: IHOP-KC prayer room.

21. Were you named after anyone: Yes Abigail in the bible! She married king David and was an intercessor. Go figure.

22. Do you wish on stars: no, stars have no power. But I love star gazing. And watching lightening.

23. Which finger is your favorite: pinky, on my right hand

24. When did you last cry: Hmm... good question, probably about a week ago. I got really home sick for my family.

25. Do you like your handwriting: yeah it's alright.

26. Any bad habits: I roll my hands up into my sleeves when I get nervous.

27. Are you trendy? I got a prophetic word once that said I have style. But I'm not really sure that was from the Lord... :-p

28. How do you release anger? cry or something, I don't really get angry, just upset.

29. Where is your second home? MI

30. Do you trust others easily? Yes, it's very easy to gain my trust.

31. Do you have a journal? Yes, I've journaled pretty much everyday for the last 5 years.

32. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? yes, a few times actually. I lost a shoe once.

33. What do you look for in a boy/girl? Good question. Lets see, spirituality, personality, loyalty, dedication. I'm a sucker for a musician. I love eyes, especially blue. Good looks in general are a plus.

34. What are your nicknames? Abby, Abb's

35. Would you ever bungee jump? That'd be pretty sweet

36. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate chip cookie dough.

37. Who do you miss most right now? My parents and friends back in MI.

38. Favorite month? November!

39. Living arrangement? Judith, Jen and I live upstairs then Matt and Ben live in an apartment downstairs.

2008-02-03T17:20:00.000-08:00

Ebpm182: I still have to write a paper :-o~~~~~
abbysec: lame. I don't have school this week
abbysec: hehehe
Ebpm182: Do my home work then
abbysec: um no
Ebpm182: um please
Ebpm182: How would you define linear..
Ebpm182: other than like a line
abbysec: 2 lines
Ebpm182: hahaa okay never mind, you can't do my home work
abbysec: bummer

Sled Abortion

2008-01-29T20:00:00.000-08:00

There are 4 major differences between a fetus an a new born baby.
1. Size
2. Level of development
3. Environment
4. Dependency

1. size - a person may argue "how can you believe a little fetus is a person, it can't even fit in the palm of your hand" etc. Well... I simply ask you "Is what you're saying that small people are less human than big people?"

2. Level of development - a person may argue "how can you argue a fetus is a person, they haven't formulated brain cells, there body is being developed, it's not even alive". A 14 year old girl does not yet have a reproductive system... If the way your body naturally developes itself defines whether or not you are human then it'd be okay to go kill people based upon age or natural growth.

3. Environment - this one is the best because people try to argue that the 8.5 inches down the birth canal is what gives you life. But if I get in my car and drive from my house to IHOP. I'm not changing who I am as a person I am changing location.

4. Dependency - babies in the womb are dependent on their mother for food, health, oxygen. So you're less of a person if you're dependent on something right?? Well I could list a handful of my friends who are dependent on medicine to keep their health under control. It gets into the arguement of well are cocaine addicts less of a human because they are dependent on their drug. Or are diabetics less human because they need insulin shots. What about food, water, oxygen. Are we all not dependent on these things for survival?

I am so completely against abortion but how often have I thought about the logical reasons why I am against abortion, not just because God opposes it (which is surely enough no questions asked). However for the sake of debate it is pointless to stand for what you believe in without the explanations that make since to someone opposing you're view.

I was thinking the other day about how abortion could be ended in America. The Supreme Court could argue back and forth and back and forth about whether or not a baby in the womb is truely alive. There is no scientific evidence that is going to come out saying life begins specifically at this point and reverse roe v. wade. However if statistical reports of harm abortions cause to the women having them were to increase by substancial number the Supreme Court would have no choice but to make it illegal.

More pictures!

2008-01-07T20:20:00.000-08:00

If you haven't been able to tell yet, I got a digital camera for Christmas and have been taking pictures of anything and everything. Hopefully this will make for more exciting posts in the future.

I had to post this. Michigan gas prices are ridiculous!!!

Olivet Baptist Church. My Church in MI.

My house in MI.

I was so thankful to leave and head back to MO the day after the webstream went down.

I randomly came home to a big picture on the wall of elephants... My room mates are crazy. We gave them all names.

Jen's sister gave her some face mask cleaner for Christmas so we tested it out last night. Pretty scary...

Paul Bear on the bean bag chair. :-p I love it!

Jell-O!

2008-01-07T19:58:00.000-08:00

This past week I attempted to make some Jell-O! It was a pretty good time because I spilt it all over the stove and totally messed up making shapes.

This side of the stove was really clean because I just cleaned it from the jello overflow.

This is my favorite part. Having a completely clean slate of substance made of sugar and water that has the nutritional value of a sock.

My shapes didn't turn out very well but Jen and I just told people they were states in America. You can kind of see that, right? Some of the stars and moons turned out okay.

Pictures!

2008-01-07T19:46:00.000-08:00

Someday I will get back to praying through my Praying through the Beatitudes series.
But I thought I'd post some random pictures for you kids back in Michigan.

Here's Kristian and Spring sleeping in my living room. 5 people from my youth group in Michigan came down for onething! We had a blast!

Here's the famous Olivet Baptist Church trailer. I remember the days when it was actually white.
Sunnie and Kristina waiting for onething to start!
The onething stage
My all access pass allowing me to get back stage to run screens.

Mike Huckabee quote!

2007-12-25T18:18:00.000-08:00

"I remember early on in my political life a lady came to me and said
'now let me get this straight you're an ordained baptist minister'
I said 'yes ma'am that's right' she says 'are you one of those narrow
minded baptists who think who think only baptists are going to heaven?'
And I said 'actually, lady, I'm more narrow than that cuz I don't think
all the baptists are gonna make it'
-Mike Huckabee

Praying through the beatitudes 1. Poor in Spirit

2007-12-16T13:38:00.000-08:00

1.Blessed are the poor in spirit
*Father, I need You. There is nothing I have apart from You. You are my everything. By You I can do anything.

I love thinking about how much Christ is our strength. Psalm 27 says the Lord is my light and my salvation. When thinking about Jesus as my light I think of Him guiding my paths, showing me what to do. I know there are a ton of other applications to Jesus being the light (Jesus the way, truth and light.) but this reality strikes my heart. I am not abandoned.

*Do not let me be offended. Not offended at one ounce of the worlds impenetrable darkness (Job 23) but forever appreciative and grateful that I am not receiving much worse. It's a state of humility in discovering how well off we are for what we deserve. Jesus said in Matthew 11:6 Blessed are those who are not offended to John's disciples because John was in prison due to living for a man who came to release those from prison. Jesus only did what He was led to do by the Father. And God never led him to go release John from prison. Then there are a lot of cross references in my mind about seeking joy in the midst of trial/persecution but I am getting ahead of myself.

*Make me a vessel for Your glory. That's all I want to be. Come live Your life through me. This is totally inspired by a Merchant Band song but I love it. Christ is our life line and only true satisfaction and freedom come from doing God's will. I think it's vital to pray for God's glory to completely posses you.

*I'm not going to inventory what I do not have, but ask You to bless and use what You have already given to me. I did not choose God. He chose me. God has already given me the gifts I need for my ministry. It is my responsibility to contend for help in developing and using those gifts. It doesn't do anybody any good to inventory what you do not have. This is so hard with finances. Especially when you've got rent due and the Lord wants you to give money in a totally random matter.

5.Increase my faith. Draw near to me as I draw near to You. Give me more of You as I give You more of me.

I heard someone say once that every time we say to God 'I want more of You', He replies with 'I want more of you'. If something is not glorifying God is it holding unnecessary room within your heart? (1 Corinthians 12 You may say, "I am allowed to do anything." But I reply, "Not everything is good for you." And even though "I am allowed to do anything," I must not become a slave to anything.) When it comes down to it is anything actually worth doing if it's not for the glory of God? If it's not pulling you closer to God then there's a 100% chance that it's pulling you away.

6.Let me fully rely on You. I only want to think of You in what I do. Give me dove's eyes. Devotion for only You.

Ouch! This one is by far the hardest to rend my heart towards. I find so much fascination in so many other things. Or in other people. Lord Jesus my heart is for You and You alone.

7.Help me today. It's not by my strength but by Yours that I can do anything.
I have a feeling once I get to heaven I will be completely in shock about how often I thought my own strength and endurance pulled me through a situation but it was really the Lord's.

8.I desire intimacy with You through covenant. To suffer as You suffered along with fellowship and satisfaction. This is a partnership. I could write 5 different books on intimacy through covenant. It is why I love to take communion. It's a reminder that this is a partnership. John 5-6 is what hits the hardest when focusing on Christ as our best friend and under evaluating suffering.

9.Let me only see what You see, let me only hear what You hear. Let me only do what You do and say what You say.

10.I'm not okay without Your presence. Never let me be alone. I listened to a message once where the speaker talked about the nature of faith and how it is not the nature of faith to be okay with not experiencing Gods presence. If your best friend who you talk to every single day suddenly decided to not talk to you for a whole week. You would not be okay with not finding out reasoning for why they stopped talking to you. God always is talking to us. It is us who go a few days without encountering him and get the delusion that we are okay. I believe that's where thoughts of thinking we have something to offer God come or can do things on our own come from.

Praying through the beatitudes

2007-12-04T11:41:00.000-08:00

My favorite way to start my day is waking up for the 6am intercession set at IHOP and spending some time praying through the beatitudes. I do this daily as much as my schedule/exhaustion allows and have noticed massive transformations within my own heart. So hopefully it comes to some encouragement to you.

The beatitudes is really an 8 step plan to happiness. Jesus begins each by saying 'blessed are you' or 'happy are you' which makes each element something to strive for. We all want joy and happiness. I believe really studying through the beatitudes allows you to set your identity in Christ's feelings toward you.

For the sake of this outline I will not be going into much detail on the prophetic promises Jesus gives for each beatitude.
Matthew 5:3-10

2007-12-01T08:35:00.000-08:00

My birthday was really cool. It was a really fun day. Judith and Jen helped me celebrate and got me some sweet gifts. Judith got me fresh ground fancy peanut butter and Jen got me a furry pink steering wheel cover for Diego the adventure jeep. The cover doesn't fit though. And it's pink... :-) I am just thankful to have such amazing room mates who bless me day after day. Jen is such an encourager so anytime I get stressed I am always uplifted. And Judith is super prophetic so she will just be having a conversation with me and say 8 different things that apply to what just happened that day or week.

The highlight of my birthday however was debriefing for Cory Asbury and Matt Gilmans team. We were all hanging out and Misty Edwards came in then everyone sang happy birthday to me. I love that team so much. It's so fun. Thank you Lord for the opportunity to run screens. I love the simplicity of it in the midst of a chaotic spiritual life.

This morning in the prayer room Justin Rizzo began prophesying. I'm not sure if he was specifically prophesying over me. But he definitely read my mail. It was so good and it lasted for a whole hour.

That's basically it for what is new. Our choir is performing for FCF services this weekend. Other than that I am working on putting together some quality posts on praying through the beatitudes and suffering for you faithful readers.

Love Abby

blog readership.

2007-11-29T17:42:00.000-08:00

So my blog readership has gone up which means I'll probably try and start posting more. Even though I don't know who all reads this thing because of you anonymous people.

Birthday!

2007-11-28T07:17:00.000-08:00

So today's my birthday... I'm really old now. :-p

Thanksgiving!

2007-11-22T11:27:00.001-08:00

Today is Thanksgiving! I'm pretty happy to be back in Michigan celebrating with my family. It's been a blast hanging out with friends as well. I gotta admit that I miss IHOP more and more every second. I've been addicted to the prayer room webstream and trying to stay engaged as much as possible. It's hard to sow in when you are not surrounded by the people and the things that push you further.

Today I've been thinking about what I've accomplished this past year. Then sort of setting up ideas of project goals I'd like to accomplish in 2008. I am so thankful to God that I am at IHOP studying to do what He wants. I am so thankful that there are people around me everyday there who press me to go deeper and help me develop my gifts and teach me things I don't know. Like learning an instrument better.

So far I've only come up with 3 main goals for 2008.
1. Totally devote it to God. I don't want to mess around with anything finite for this coming year. If it's not pushing me deeper or glorifying Him I don't want nothing to do with it. Which leads me to:
2. No dating in 2008. I don't really date anyway, but the principle behind it stands. I don't want to think about boys, relationships, marriage for this year. It's so distracting and by far the hardest thing to give up.
3. I've been working on getting through the entire bible for a year and a half. I'll for sure be by January. My goal is to then take my new silver metal bible and have 9 highlighter colors representing the 9 beatitudes. Then go through the entire bible cross referencing to the beatitudes.
My identity is found within the beatitudes because my heart seeks to live a life of joy, it's in my name. I find Him and allow Him to find me within this short 9 step plan to happiness. This is my heart foundation.

My favorite number is 8. So I delight in giving this year 2008 to He who means the most. And matters the most.

My name

2007-11-11T14:09:00.001-08:00

There's a guy on Judith's prayer room team who is really into finding out what the meaning of names are etc. Anyway he did mine. It's pretty cool.

Meaning of Name
for
Abagail Lane Sincox

Abagail

Language/Cultural Origin: Jewish

Inherent Meaning: “MY FATHER REJOICES”
Spiritual Connotation: “CHERISHED OF GOD, SOURCE OF JOY”

Scriptural Reference:

Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”

Psalm 51:12 “Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me by Your generous Spirit.”

Lane

Language/Cultural Origin: English

Inherent Meaning: “Road, Wayfarer”
Spiritual Connotation: “Eternal”

Scriptural Reference:

Psalm 119:105 “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”

Matthew 7:14 “Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.”

Mountain Wings today

2007-11-08T04:24:00.000-08:00

Getting Into Heaven
====================

I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if
they understood the concept of getting to heaven.

I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage
sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me
into Heaven?"

"NO!" the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept
everything neat and tidy,

would that get me into Heaven?"

Again, the answer was, "NO!"

By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun!

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all
the children, and loved my wife, would that get me into
Heaven?"
I asked them again.

Again, they all answered, "NO!"

I was just bursting with pride for them. "Well," I continued,
"then how can I get into Heaven?"

A five-year-old boy shouted out,

"YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!"

2007-11-04T05:47:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Jen (the room mate), Becca (the old room mate) and I went to Maya's (a Mexican resteraunt on State Line) to watch the Michigan vs. Michigan State game and eat ceasar salad. Michigan was ahead pretty much the whole time we were there but State pulled in the lead in the 3rd quarter. :) It was really tight up until the last 3 minutes. Then U of M scored! It was ridiculous! I was so bummed. I thought for sure MSU had it! :-p Oh wells! It was really good to catch a college football game this season. I love it and we don't have a TV. I've been watching scores on the cell phone of course, but it's just not the same. :)

I'm focusing lately a lot on loving others. I guess you could say I'm making a small change, to the way that I wear my heart. I found a great sermon from Bethel church about loving from the heart and will probably post the good stuff from that later this week. This week is GBF so no school which is good for resting purposes. Then that outline for praying through the beatitudes is coming too.

2007-10-30T16:41:00.000-07:00

My body is getting reacquainted with 6am sets. Taking a 2 week break and then jumping back into waking up at 5 (sometimes 4) every morning is a burden especially when you are one of the proud and the few who does not drink coffee. It's an acclimating process.

I'm planning on posting an outline for praying throughout the beatitudes in November. So that is something to look forward to for those of you who actually read this thing.

Other than that I've been running screens a ton. It consumes my life.

The Christian Lifestyle of Comfort

2007-10-28T13:37:00.000-07:00

Every week I set aside some time to listen to a podcast or recording of a preaching and lately I've been getting into Bill Johnson's sermons. This past week he talked about the need for a new baptism. It was incredible and broke my paradigm on the Christian current reality of living comfortably.

"The Christian lifestyle right now is designed to keep people happy and comfortable.
There is nothing comfortable about following Jesus. His alter call is you have to sell everything to follow me, oh and by the way you're going to have to die."

We can't live in this teetering lifestyle of unbelief and arrogance that God has to pass something through us before doing it to someone else.

"That's why, when you live that kind of lifestyle. When you position yourself on the edge of that kind of teetering place in life. You're not comfortable. You find comfort in Him. You find comfort in the presense. You find comfort in having done the will of God. Jesus says my food is to do the will of Him who sent Me. I am nurished because I know at the end of the day I know I did what He said to do. I am refreshed. I am replenished. I am nurished. I am refreshed by the presense of the Lord. It is the comforter who comforts me. I am not comfortable by my lifestyle.
I am comfortable by the presense of God who rests upon me."

Rest... You got me again Lord. I'm signed up all over again. "I've got to be filled with the spirit of God until He puts me on like a glove."

2007-10-24T16:17:00.000-07:00

Yup, definitely sick.

Faithfulness

2007-10-19T08:53:00.000-07:00

These last couple weeks I've been battling getting sick and skipping most 6 am sets in the Global Prayer Room. It is the worst to get into a habit of sleeping in then trying to go back to the routine of waking up early.

In school we are learning about the end times. I was not excited for this class at all but so far I'm loving it.

Then I'm running screens for 4 different worship teams right now. And I got a job working and teaching children at IHOP Childrens Equipping Center. I only work on weekends and it's not a ton of money but Mom and I figure if I can support raise enough for rent then it will be the perfect amount to live on. Life is good.

2007-10-07T17:43:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like you're hiding yourself from someone?

Not because you don't like them or anything... In fact just the opposite. It's almost like you're scared to show your true colors because you like them so much. I've been doing this a ton lately mostly with worship team members. I feel I really have a geniune knowledge of who I am and what my identity is in Chirst. But when it comes to other people, especially people I see as unique or having admirable attributes, I shut down. Almost like I become someone else.

Unique people can hurt just as well as they can love. I'm scared too death for no reason. This is God's, not even mine. Just have to get over the fear factor...

How awful it is to not live a fasted lifestyle.

2007-10-07T04:57:00.001-07:00

I forgot how much I like the 6-8a prayer meetings.

Hitting the wall...

2007-10-04T06:54:00.000-07:00

“Your heart is already somewhere else, and you are hungry to discover where it is.”

David Sliker, “End-Times Simplified”

This quote totally hits home today.

Since I started running screens in the Prayer Room I've noticed my time free time to simply soak has decreased significantly. This is not because I am now excessively busy. It's because I have hit a major brick wall spiritually.

I look around the room for fleeting pleasures constantly. My mind is completely else where. I haven't kept faithful to my daily bible reading. My visions have turned into day dreams of things I wish would happen or earthly desires. I have hit a major wall that most people would call the wilderness. This is not the wilderness. I just got out of the wilderness. You don't get out of a wilderness to re-enter into a season of one. I don't feel like I belong. I'm always unsatisfied. But I am happy. I really really am happy. I love being here. Spiritually I am just distraught.

Solution? Well, fasting, praying, reading the bible. Righteous living... Total submission to Christ... That seems to be the answer to everything. I'm going to sit here in these gray chairs until I feel it. I will not submit to being okay with not feeling Him. I am not okay with You not touching me. I am broken, You should probably come now. Thank you worship teams for your anointing. You're pulling me through and closer to You.

I feel terrible. I love briefings and debriefings but I knew if I spent more time in there with you my heart would be focused on that the whole rest of the day and I have to fix me and Jesus before I can begin thinking about us.

Fun via. Demetri Martin

2007-10-02T12:39:00.001-07:00

"once upon a time

is the best way to start a fairy tale

because those kinds of stories happen upon a time

they don't happen "for a" time or "in a" time or "at a" time.

if you are somewhere and you seem to be upon a time, then pay attention

because you are probably in a mythical situation."

I'll be original tomorrow.
Also, pray that I find my green metal bible. It is missing in action.

Blogging

2007-09-30T13:42:00.000-07:00

I must apologize to those who are actually tracking with this thing. (i.e. Parents, twins, other Sunday School kids) I have been slacking on getting the daily posts out.

Officially FMA is out of session for the next 2 weeks. We have the global bridegroom fast this coming week, then the next we have fall break. I've never been in a school where there were so many breaks but I'm not complaining. :-p

The screen scene has been perfect for me. I'm running them for Derek Loux and Grace Kim. Then sometimes Cory Asbury. It's been fun.

My parents are coming in about a week so that is exciting.
God is too good to me.

I'll keep up on the posts these next few weeks.

2007-09-26T15:28:00.001-07:00

Running Screens is AWESOME!!!

I've met so many cool people!

Off the record

2007-09-21T11:03:00.000-07:00

I really like Audra Lynn's voice.

And Derek Loux (my beloved Life Group leader) has asked me to run screens for his 6-8am sets for a few weeks, since I'm there at 5:30a everyday with Judith anyway. I agreed. I'm excited.

Someday I will learn how to blog. I think it involves talking less about myself.

2007-09-20T09:40:00.002-07:00

Thank you Eric Johnson

Blessed are those who are hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be satisfied.

Why does God love righteousness?

Love righteousness.
Hate evil.

Romans 1:17 "Faith reveals the righteousness of God"

Righteous = right standing.

Righteous people do not get punished. They get justice.
Getting Judged and Justice are good things.

There's a difference between Justice and punishment.

2007-09-20T09:40:00.001-07:00

Thank you Kris Vallotton

River, flow to me
flow through me.
flow around me.
and flow to people who don't
even like water.

Lord, bring change in me.
As you bring change through me.

Angels 'n such!

2007-09-20T09:09:00.000-07:00

So a week ago today I saw/felt the presence of an angel behind a keyboard player on one of the GPR sets. It was pretty sweet feeling. I've never had that happen before. Anyway some other crazy stuff happened and God placed it on my heart to seek after confirmation of what I was hearing.

I prayed for awhile and God gave me a list of words to write down.

Confirmation words:
1. Precious
2. True
3. Husband
4. Angel
5. Water

Later that day I go to the GPR. I begin reading my bible passages for that day 2 Corinthians 3-12. One by one each of those words appeared in consecutive order to what I was reading.

1. Precious - 2 Corinthians 4:7
2. Tru - 2 Corinthians 6:4
3. Husband - 2 Corinthians 11:2
4. Angel - 2 Corinthinas 11:14
5. Water - 2 Corinthians 11:26

Well, suffice to say... I feel pretty confirmed in my ability to hear God.
I'm feeling pretty faith filled.
We'll see. ;)

Random Picture. Myrtle Tree.

This was prophetic too! Last Saturday I was studying through Zechariah (compliments of Ian Barkers blog) and read about the myrtle trees among the Cedars. I live on Myrtle street and was feeling over whelmed by all the information we're receiving from School. Then yesterday I went to the prophecy rooms and a girl (whose name is Abby) prophesied that I was in the middle of the forest and that when you are in the middle of a forest you can't see how big the forest is. But from God's perspective you can see the entire forest. It was very encouraging.

My Meditation Journal.

2007-09-17T04:40:00.001-07:00

As FMA requirements we are supposed to keep some sort of record of our meditations. One of the options was to start a blog. So I did.

http://abbysmeditationjournal.blogspot.com/

It's also linked to the right. I'll be posting every week in there as well for credit. It's no fancy commentary but I have fun doing it.

2007-09-17T03:47:00.001-07:00

5:45am GPR - "You can have this whole world, give me Jesus"
*rock music early in the morning. Gotta love it.

2007-09-14T13:48:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am in the OneThing 2006 video. This is in Merchant Band's "You Love Me Forever". I also make an appearance in "Wonderful Savior". I don't think I'm in any others. Who knows, I was up front bunches.

Pretty darn exciting.

Quote of the Week

2007-09-14T13:30:00.001-07:00

I have noticed that nothing I have never said
ever did me any harm.
~Calvin Coolidge~

Monday's again!

2007-09-10T16:43:00.000-07:00

Today we started our "Excellencies of Christ" module with Allen Hood. This is weird because we combine with all the FSM students as well as everyone from FMA. Allen Hood is amazing though and I'm excited for what this class brings about. Today in and of itself was pretty intense.

Then Spiritual Disciplines is short so easily enjoyable.

Choir is really random at this point in time. I'm not really sure what direction it will be going because our director has picked really hard music for "non-professional" singers.

We'll see.

I'll try to keep up to date with the blog throughout the chaos.

Spiritual Warfare in Human Trafficking!

2007-09-08T12:51:00.001-07:00

This morning at the Spiritual Warfare conference worship was really good. The team finished and Benjamin Nolot got up to preach.

He preached about Human Trafficking. This is a topic I've heard prayed for at IHOP before but had never really thought about it or knew truly what it was. He explained that there are currently more slaves world wide than there have ever been and 70% of them are used for sexual purposes. America is not exempt from this by any means.

While he was preaching he broke down a consecutive 3 times in sobs over the atrocity of this happening in the world. The 3rd time he broke down Shelly Hundley came up and turned the whole thing into an intercession/worship service.

A majority of people in the room were face down on the floor sobbing and crying out. The Lord literally made me sick to my stomach as we listened to the stories. I really thought I was going to throw up. The worship team came back up and we spent the next half an hour or so in prayer crying out for righteous judgement to break in.

It was intense! I loved it.

I went home and wrote 'this world sucks' out of utter disbeliefe what is happening all over the nations. This isn't even the extent of our problems. Jesus come quick.

2007-09-07T07:47:00.000-07:00

The Lord has been giving me very interesting dreams lately. A majority of them involve worship leaders from the house of prayer. Or people who play on sets.

If I have more I'll start posting them for funsies.

Battery Life!

2007-09-07T07:34:00.001-07:00

Fastest way to drain the life of your laptop = Prayer Room Webstream.

However, it is well worth it. :)

2007-09-05T04:14:00.001-07:00

I think people sometimes read the bible in too much seriousness. There's some really funny things that happen in between the stories.

Luke 4:28-30
28 When they heard this, the people in the synagogue were furious. 29 Jumping up, they mobbed him and forced him to the edge of the hill on which the town was built. They intended to push him over the cliff, 30 but he passed right through the crowd and went on his way.

I'm sorry but I find it somewhat humorus that there was a mob of people trying to push Jesus off a cliff and he somehow just "slipped away". This is something I'd like to see in the scene of a movie. Don't get me wrong, I understand the seriousness behind this passage. But I also recognize the humor of it as well.

Mark 14:51-52
51 One young man following behind was clothed only in a long linen shirt. When the mob tried to grab him, 52 he slipped out of his shirt and ran away naked.

What is this guy doing? Too funny! You know this sort of thing probably happened all the time. It's so random and funny and so out of place! If it were any other time it probably wouldn't be as funny! But it's right after Jesus gets betrayed and arrested!

Then does anyone else see the constant rivalry between John and Peter?! It can be pure comedy when you think it through.

I think these things are needed to show that these were real stories with real (sometimes crazy) people.

I sometimes become frustrated with all the seriousness at IHOP! Must be the coffee.

2007-09-03T18:36:00.000-07:00

September is a month where I'm really focusing on giving up lots in order to receive the full amount of what God has in store for me.

In short I'm on a journey to discover my prophetic purpose.

Today I put together a short 10 song 39:01 minute play list of encouraging songs that I plan to listen to every day this month while getting ready to go to the morning 6a prayer meetings.

This play list consists of
1. Relient K "quiet"
2. Relient K "give"
3. Leeland "yes you have (stolen my heart)"
4. Third Day "Love Song"
5. Jars of Clay "Be Thou My Vision"
6. Leeland "Beautiful God"
7. LifeHouse "Trying"
8. Jars of Clay "I need you"
9. Relient K "I need you"
10. Switchfoot "You"

Themes
1. Bridaling the tounge
2. Giving (Classic Sermon on the Mount Theology)
3-6. Sitting beneath the apple tree in the prescense of Christ
7-10. Blessed are those who are poor in spirit (realize their need
for God) for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven. Matt. 5:3 The first
beatitude.

I haven't gotten to the point where Christ has called me to the mountains with Him. However, I want to be ready when it does happen.

I'm also reading through Thomas Dubay's "The Evidential Power of Beauty" during this months GBF. I love love love this book. I'm only in the 3rd chapter but already it has destroyed, in a good way, the way I preceive my surroundings.
Plus it's full of Science and I am a Science geek at heart.

All of this and Ian Barker (my new favorite blog to read) is going through Zechariah!!! I'm so thrilled that he's doing this and commentating on his blog! I'm knee deep in Zech. as it is and a bit overwhelmed.

Me? Social?? Who would have thought?!

2007-09-02T17:52:00.000-07:00

There's been a lot of parties being held within my class mates these past few weeks so this weekend I decided to attend a few of them.

It's been really cool but the Lord has really emphasized that this is a season for me and Him. I'll focus more on meeting people next semester. September will be a very interesting month that is for sure. We'll see how things go.

Practical Jokers

2007-08-26T08:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday every FSM/FMA student received this email:

Hello Wonderful Students! Just to inform you, this E-mail is from your student government because we want all of you to be in the loop concerning all the important events and announcements over the course of this semester so please make sure to read these e-mails! Oh and sorry if you get more than one of this same e-mail sent to you. We are still working out the kinks.

School will be cancelled starting August 27th. This includes prayer room hours for the week of August 27th and September 3rd. IHOP faculty have some kinks to work out concerning classes and students. Have a wonderful vacation!

Grace to you,
Student Government Association
Communications Team

Then a couple hours later we received this email:

Dear FSM Students

Greetings!

I am writing to inform you that the email that was sent out regarding the cancellation of school is not true. Someone broke into the account and made this up.

I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience and confusion that this has caused among the student body. The problem is underway of investigation.

We are excited to continue in school for the rest of this module as planned! No changes regarding your classes or practicums or prayer room hours have been made. Let us continue running together in the place of prayer and study of the Word!

Blessings to you all,

SGA leadership

Internet

2007-08-25T08:37:00.000-07:00

Very possibly we may be getting internet at our house thanks to Jen (my new room mate). We all hate not having it and are going to invest in it soon.

Yay! :-A

Coffee!

2007-08-23T17:19:00.000-07:00

When you are involved with the international house of prayer and dislike coffee you are considered an anomaly. Today in my life group everyone drank coffee except for me.

I hate the taste/smell/effects of coffee.

I am a sheep among wolves.

Highly caffeinated, Jesus loving wolves.

Live from the Justice House of Prayer

2007-08-23T14:20:00.000-07:00

JHOP = loud.

This week every student had to sign up for 6 hours in the Justice House of Prayer. I can tell already this obligated prayer room time will test my pride and humility.

Well, the first day I lasted half an hour. We'll see how tomorrow morning goes.

Jesus' Favorite?

2007-08-21T13:53:00.001-07:00

Today I had my interview at Centerpoint Medical Center (Just for you Spring). When I first got to Kansas City I found listings for health care facilities and hospitals in the area because I am certified to sterilize surgical instruments. I found Centerpoint and noticed they were looking to fill house keeping positions. So I applied and got an interview.

My interview was this afternoon at 1p and about half way through the questioning realized there was no way I would get this job. They couldn't work around my school schedule and weren't too thrilled that the only experience cleaning I had was as my church's janitor. It was no biggie. I didn't really want a job anyway because school is crazy enough.

But then the guy who interviewed me told me I had to go upstairs and be interviewed by one more lady before leaving. So I go upstairs and wait for about 20 minutes in this office waiting for my second interview in which I viewed as a total waste of time.

Bunny trail - By this point I just wanted to leave and head to the prayer room to fill some of my obligated hours. :-O~~ I love that they give credit for spending time in the prayer room but I hate how it makes it seem like a tedius spiritual discipline/requirement.

Okay so finally the woman named Lee calls my name and takes me into her office. She explains that they all just ate lunch in there and appologized for it smelling like potatoes. She looked through my information and then gave me a strange look. She asked "Why are you applying for a house keeping position when you're certified to sterilize?" I respond with "the website only had house keeping positions open."

She then proceeded to tell me that they had 4 positions open in sterile processing. They were desperately in need so she copied my certificate and told me they'd call me for an interview soon. Because they're in dire need of filling these positions they are willing to work around school. Of course this means less time in the prayer room and more exhaustion but I will be able to give like I've never been able to give before and buy a house in the near(er) future.

My ultimate goal:
FMA - 2 (Don't freak out Mom, they just started a worship leader track that I'm somewhat interested in) or 4 years while working/raising support

School in Kansas City to get Surgical Technician Certification/Intercessory Missionary - 2 years. This will cram everything a surgeon has to know into 2 years and give me time in the prayer room.

Live and work in Kansas City as a base, then possibly go to the nations for medical and ministry support as often as possible.

I want to be leading worship and playing on teams as much as possible as well.

We'll see. It's up to him, not me.

FMA!

2007-08-20T17:05:00.000-07:00

I've got a case of the Mondays!

7 hours of class = intense
5 hours in the prayer room = not enough

However Derek Loux is my small group leader, I've got 3 really good friends already and Jesus has blessed me with more and more encounters.

My job interview is tomorrow. Please pray!